Results tagged “microsoft” from The Daily Nugget

A year ago, Microsoft offered to buy Yahoo for substantially more than the current $44.6 billion offer, but Yahoo turned them down. Now, after all of the mistakes that Yahoo made over the last year, it looks like the sale is almost an inevitability. They've making mistakes for a while. Yahoo had the opportunity to buy Google in the early days. Hell, in the last two years it had an opportunity to buy YouTube and Facebook for a fraction of their current valuations. Yahoo would damn near own the Valley today if it had pulled the trigger on just one of those deals (guess which one). But now, the only deal on the table is Yahoo itself. Hopefully, they won't mess up that deal too, or they may have to officially change their name to Boo-hoo-ooo!

A Microsoft executive named Michael Wallent is leaving Microsoft to return as Megan Wallent a few weeks later. The transgender executive is blogging about his transition "From Michael to Megan" on his her blog.

Microsoft announced that preorders for Halo 3 have surpassed 1 million copies. I preordered my copy several months ago and can't wait for the game to ship in late September. It's on like Donkey Kong, but with better graphics.

Microsoft announces the release of an Xbox 360 Elite console which will retail for $479.99, is black in color, and boasts a 120GB hard drive and an HDMI connection.

Apple is warning iPod and iTunes users not to upgrade to Vista due to compatibility issues.

I remember standing in line to purchase a copy of Windows 95 when it was released at the newly built CompUSA store in Torrance, California. It was a warm August evening and no breeze. There were at least 400 people there lined up to buy only about 300 copies of the new operating system. Excitement was in the air and people couldn't wait to get home to load up their 486DX/25 machines with the new OS. I was up all night installing it.

Most of the people lined up were running DOS 6.22 with Windows 3.11 and were eager for a change. For one, Windows 3.11 did not support TCP/IP built-in. Most people that accessed the Internet had UNIX shell accounts running a program called TIA over dial-up lines using the SLIP protocol. People also used the Mosaic, and later the Netscape browser to access the web, and Eudora for email. My ISP was Netcom, which was acquired by Mindspring, which was eventually acquired by Earthlink.

Windows 95 was a huge leap forward. It had built-in TCP/IP and PPP protocols to access the Internet through dial-up. This eventually meant the end for TIA, as Internet service providers started to provide PPP modem banks that no longer necessitated the use of a shell account. Those were the glory days of personal computing. Windows 95 was a big step forward and was an eagerly anticipated media event.

Contrast this with last night's release of Windows Vista. Although there are big improvements in this new OS, mostly in security and graphics, it's not much better than a well-patched installation of Windows XP Professional. People out there are happy running Windows XP and don't want to learn new menus and graphics. Some may not want to upgrade Windows because they don't want to upgrade their hardware. Either way, people are resistant to change.

Last night, the crowds of people never showed up. Granted, there wasn't a huge marketing blitz featuring the Rolling Stones song "Start Me Up" like the Windows 95 launch. Ultimately, I think Microsoft knew that users would never line up for only a slight improvement, no matter what commercials they ran. Deep inside, Microsoft must know that it has lost its magic and it will never be 1995 again.

Apple released software today that allows Windows XP to run on Intel-based Macs. I think it is safe to say that Apple's journey to the dark side is complete.

The official response from Microsoft regarding the recent Xbox 360 hack:

The core security system has not been broken. However, it is reported that the authentication protocol between the optical disc drive and the console may be attacked, which if accurate could allow people to play illegally copied games. Our security team is aware of this and we are investigating potential solutions to this issue. The Xbox 360 platform was designed to be updated, and we are prepared to respond appropriately should any unauthorized activity be identified.

Everyone should keep in mind that Microsoft invests a great deal of time and effort to ensure that Xbox gamers enjoy the most powerful and exhilarating game experience available today. Genuine and unmodified Microsoft Xbox products provide gamers with the reliability, security, support and dynamic gaming experience that they expect. Microsoft works with a large group of legitimate business partners to sell and service genuine Microsoft Xbox products. Microsoft does not authorize or support any products or companies that modify or change the Xbox console in any way.

Reading between the lines you can tell that they're pissed. XBL auto-updates will surely go out to thwart this. It reminds me of the DirecTV programmers vs. hackers battle that raged for years until alas the DirecTV folks beat the pirates, or the lazy ones anyway. Stay tuned.

The new version of Windows, named Vista, has been delayed to January 2007.

Thanks to the Sarbanes-Oxley act Steve Ballmer did not receive a free Xbox 360 from Microsoft on launch day. Under financial disclosure rules, Microsoft would have to classify a free game console as income for Ballmer. The premium version of Microsoft's next-generation game machine carries a $400 price tag. Although the cost of the Xbox 360 pales to Ballmer's salary and bonus of nearly $1 million and his stock holdings of $11.3 billion (as of today's close), it would still have to be explicitly disclosed in SEC filings. In order to avoid this, executive management and insiders in the company probably did NOT get an Xbox while other "regular" employees most likely did. At least you can rest knowing that the Ballmer kids aren't playing an Xbox 360 in their 8,600 square foot home.

Microsoft produced a spoof video in which Bill Gates and Napoleon Dynamite. go toe to toe. In the video, Napoleon Dynamite beats Bill Gates in a slapping match to become the head of the software giant. The video was shown at the Professional Developers Conference which is currently taking place in Los Angeles. I really would like to get my hands on a copy of this video. Hopefully someone will drop it on the net in the next few hours. Until then, I'll end this post with my favorite scene in Napoleon Dynamite, where Napoleon goes to work at the chicken farm down the street from his house to make some extra cash:

Napoleon Dynamite: Do the chickens have large talons?
Farmer: Do they have what?
Napoleon Dynamite: Large talons.
Farmer: I don't understand a word you just said.

In an unscrupulous attempt to wield incredible power and enslave the minions of Earth, Microsoft sued a 17-year-old Canadian kid named Mike Rowe for registering his own domain name, mikerowesoft.com. When confronted by the press Bill Gates offered this explanation, "Our domain, Microsoft, was forged in the depths of Mt. Rainier, and we were assured by the elves--or was it the lawyers, I can't remember--that we had 'one domain to rule them all.' Besides, there's nothing funnier than crying Canadians!" Oh, hell no! That's bullshit! I would love for this kid to win the lawsuit and would donate to his cause, if he ever gets his website back up.

The saying goes that if you mess with the bull, you get the horn, or the "Longhorn" in this case. After dealing with the virus bull (i.e. bullshit) that hit the world last week mostly because of unpatched flaws in Windows, Microsoft announced today that it would release its new version of Windows, Longhorn, to developers in October. Surely, this is Microsoft's attempt to diffuse last week's virus beatdown with some positive news. Stay tuned for more bull!

Microsoft is to pay $750 million to AOL Time Warner as part of a settlement for an antitrust complaint filed last year. AOL Time Warner contended that Microsoft used its monopoly to to push Netscape (now owned by AOL Time Warner) out of Internet browser market. In addition to the cash, the settlement includes the following key points:

• AOL will receive a seven-year, royalty-free license to continue using Internet Explorer on its flagship online service.
  
  
• AOL receives a long-term, nonexclusive license to use Microsoft's Windows Media 9 software, which offers playback, delivery and rights management for digital media.
  
  
• The companies will explore ways for AOL and MSN Messenger to interoperate, which Microsoft has sought for years.
  
  

In my opinion, this settlement won't hurt Microsoft, which reportedly had $46.1 billion in cash last quarter. Microsoft management probably sees this settlement as a $750 million "marketing pact" with AOL to push Internet Explorer and Microsoft Media Player products worldwide.

Notably, Microsoft will finally get MSN Messenger and AIM to interoperate, which just means less reason for consumers to install the AIM client. The MSN Messenger is already integrated into Windows XP and will probably be a part of future Windows versions.

AOL was already working on integrating ICQ and AIM instant messaging clients, which means that Yahoo! Messenger may become a solitary island in a sea of interoperable clients. If this all comes to pass, I foresee Yahoo! also joining the dark side to create a global instant messaging platform.

As the emperor, Emperor Palpatine not Bill Gates, would say, "Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen ..."

Microsoft admitted today that they were full of shit and that the iLoo crapper was not a hoax. For the record, I called bullshit on their "fake" press release story yesterday. Microsoft now says it had relied on bad information from an employee in the UK who said the iLoo was a hoax. However, after more talks with people in London, the company determined that it was a real project after all. The project has since been flushed, no pun intended, since Porta-Potties do not flush.

Microsoft announced today that the iLoo product that they officially announced on May 2nd was just an elaborate April Fool's joke. Who are they kidding with this shit!? First of all, if that were true, it would be the first time in Microsoft's history that they have issued a "fake" press release, even for April Fool's Day. Second, why would the joke be released on May 2nd, over a month late, and in Britain? Who knows? Anyway, that's their story and their sticking to it. If you ask me this "fake" release explanation is just a ruse to cover up what can best be described as a major fuck up. Reading my blog entry about the crapper still makes me crack up, and this explanation is just as funny.

A huge security flaw in Microsoft's Passport system was disclosed late on May 7th and has apparently already been fixed by Microsoft. The flaw allowed an attacker to change a passport account's password by typing in a simple URL into his browser. I just tried the exploit on my own passport account and I didn't receive a password change email from the server, so it's probably fixed. Scary though.

In any language, Microsoft does not equal security. I guess that could be written as Microsoft <> security, or Microsoft != security, or Microsoft == insecurity, etc. Sorry, I am in the middle of a programming course right now so please excuse the geek out on alternative logical operator syntax.

Microsoft's MSN Division in the UK has come up with a new product called the iLoo. It is essentially an average Porta-Potty outfitted with a computer, wireless keyboard, a telescopic plasma screen, and a wireless Internet connection so you check your email while taking a dump.

Dude! Have the designers of this thing even been inside a Porta-Potty? They are fucking gross!!! When you are inside of one of these things you are not concerned with world affairs, stock quotes, or email. You are concerned about making it out alive. You are concerned about keeping your balance and not falling. You are concerned about hyperventilating, because you are holding your breath for minutes so the the fucking toxic fumes don't burn the inside of your lungs. You are concerned about not touching anything, let alone a wireless keyboard. Who would touch that thing anyway? Plus, you know the fucking kids are going to dip the keyboard in the vat of shit just for fun, you just know it! And there's always the fear of some asshole flipping the whole thing over--that's always lurking in the back of your mind. Man, this bad idea just gets worse and worse the more I think about it.

This is simply a desperate attempt to find revenue outside of software licensing by Bill and Co. If this is their best idea, they're in trouble.

The Microsoft employee that was charged with stealing over $9 million from the company last December was found dead from drinking anti-freeze. Exactly how this happened is still a mystery, since there were no witnesses to his death. Damn, I knew Microsoft was ruthless, but I never thought that they would resort to taking someone out. I guess that'll teach him to steal from Bill Gates.