This lady is bat shit crazy and clearly off her meds. She seriously thinks that Obama and reptile aliens will kill us all (video link). If this lady watches the TV show V when it comes back on air, she may actually think it’s a news report.

Google provides a very detailed apology to those with privacy concerns.

Tech Support Cheat Sheet
Click for larger size. Via xkcd.

I am done providing tech support. Next time you are in a jam, please use this handy tech support cheat sheet. This is exactly what I do to help you every single time! It’s not that hard really. You know who you are.

My friend Larry found this bit of comedy on a cork board somewhere in Hawaii. I personally have no judgment on vegans, but this is just funny. Keep being AWESOME people!

Carnivore?

My wife googled the spelling of the word despair a few nights ago while writing in her baby journal.  Yes I am not kidding. Thankfully, she came across the site despair.com. The site allows you to order “demotivational” posters as a 16-month calendar and while browsing through them some look really funny.  Even funnier, the guy that runs the site puts together demotivational corporate videos that are really funny.  I think I will be buying a calendar later today.

Andy Samberg and Seth Rogen in this video from the Lonely Island’s new album Incredibad.  Pretty funny but NSFW, especially if your boss is nearby.

President Obama says on being a dad that “all it takes is a few minutes of your time.”  WTF!?  Are his kids genetically engineered to sleep and be quiet?  Am I doing something wrong?  I can tell you after being a dad for five weeks that it takes a helluva lot longer than a few minutes.  Try like four to five hours per day.  Uh, that’s like 300 minutes each day! *Sigh* I guess all politicians see the world through rose colored glasses.

In the UK, the face of Jesus was found on caked on cooking grease after a guy cooked a delicious, or dare I say heavenly, burger.

This is an infomercial for a product called Aspray, which is a spray for your stank butt and privates.  My favorite part of the infomercial is “give this to your smelly friends.”  Funny shit.  Via Adfreak.

Joel McHale from The Soup is really funny, but it looks like this show has great writing and an amazing ensemble cast that includes, wait for it, wait for it, Chevy Chase. It looks freakin’ hilarious. Can’t wait to check it out this Fall.

Our mayor’s hair has a Twitter account, and a charming personality.  Comedy.

This instructional video from Gillette shows you how to “trim your bush” because you know, they’ll sell a lot more razors if guys all decided to shave their balls.

WHO raises swine flu to pandemic level 11.  Cough, cough!  Ahrm, it is only a matter of time before “El Swine” gets us all.  Cough, cough!

Odd Todd has 10 new tips for the unemployed on his site.  He’s doing the tips countdown style, like David Letterman, and started with tip #10 a few weeks ago.  I used to love watching the Odd Todd cartoons during the 2001 dot-com implosion.  It now turns out that what is old is new again.  Check it out.

If you actually go to the real-time twitter feed for swine flu and read it for a few minutes I think you will find that it is even funnier than this comic. Via xkcd.

The story today in SFGate about eagles reminded me of the best video report about eagles ever produced anywhere! It’s the gift that keeps on giving!

And no it wasn’t a two-year-old. This grown ass woman threw a tantrum after missing a flight at the Hong Kong airport and then had the nerve to yell at the gate agents and her own husband for good measure.  The calmness of the husband (the guy in the suit) leads me to believe that this lady has done this before.  She is not an “amateur” tantrum thrower.  How someone can be this old and not have more developed problem solving skills is beyond me.  This comedy is all over the Internets today.  Enjoy.

A man was arrested in West Virginia for DUI and charged with assault for “farting in the officer’s general direction.”  According to the police report, this guy allegedly “lifted his leg and passed gas loudly” on said cop and “then fanned the air with his hand in front of his rear onto the cop.”  Who knew that cops in West Virginia were so sensitive!?  The complaint filed by the cop goes on to say, “The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature.”

Created contact!  Now that’s a fart ladies and gentlemen!  Bravo!  Bravo!!!

Wow, this cop is lucky he didn’t go camping us back in high school.  It’s one thing to get a whiff of a really good one out in the open, but to be enclosed in a tent with the fart, that’s special.  I have some high school friends that were scarred for life.  I am sure they remember, unless they were so traumatized that they blocked the memory.  You know who you are.

P.S. Thanks for not pressing assault charges against me guys, jeez!

Two guys from the company I am auditing, Guidant Corporation, offered to take me on a mountain bike ride today–so I accepted (first mistake). I expected us to go out late afternoon as the Sun was going down, instead they advised me that they are ready to go at 11:00AM. Great!?

This was already looking bad as I saw birds outside sweating, but not wanting to be the party pooper, I said “let’s go.” By the time we arrived to the foothills near Lake Elsinore it was high noon and the temperature there was much cooler than Temecula–90F instead of 105F–woohoo.

By this time my excitement for the ride was overwhelming–not! I had a borrowed bike from this guy that’s like 6ft tall with a huge frame, had a borrowed helmet, no sun block, borrowed sunglasses, and a 16oz. bottle of Gatorade. These two guys both had 90oz. Camelbaks, full racing gear, and a certain look of determination that I certainly was lacking–I was hoping or some wind.

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