Results tagged “crime” from The Daily Nugget

This guy in Illinois collected paychecks from a company for nearly five years after he turned down their employment offer. He was arrested after collecting $469,000 in salary and 401k contributions for a job he never even had. I think what is criminal about this case is that it took Avaya, the company that made the error, about four years to find out they were paying someone who didn't show up for work! Hahaha! Stuff like this happens and companies *still* claim they don't need internal auditors.

Gregory Reyes, ex-CEO of Brocade, was sentenced to 21 months in prison and ordered to pay a $15 million fine for his involvement in Brocade's stock options backdating scandal. A $15 million fine should be nothing for this guy, since he was worth about $1 billion back in 2000. Still, 1 year and 9 months in the pen won't be nice for his hemorrhoids, if you know what I mean.

An Oakland teen was shot an killed tonight at the Metreon after getting into an argument with other teens. Apparently the altercation happened between the front entrance on Mission Street and the ticket counters where he was shot at around 7:00pm. The Metreon and Yerba Buena Gardens is teeming with extra police because of the Oracle OpenWorld conference so the alleged shooter was caught a block away. The scary thing is that Melissa and I contemplated going to the movies today and would have been at the Metreon around that time if we had decided to go. We didn't.

An employee at Absolutepoker.com was caught cheating. He was using security flaws in the system to see his opponents' hole cards in high stakes no-limit texas hold'em online games. This allowed him to amass $700,000 in winnings. They are blaming everything on this "rogue" employee, but who knows what was really going on or how many were involved. Surely, if this can happen with Absolute Poker, it can happen at other online poker sites.

I have always questioned the fairness of the online games and now play live games exclusively. I think the temptation to cheat at the online tables is too great for both employees and patrons alike. I mean, what is to stop a team of two or three people at a table of 8-10 players from sharing their hole cards in someone's living room to improve their game against the rest of the table. This type of teaming happens all of the time, but it's online poker's little secret.

The only way to make sure you are not being cheated is to play live games at a reputable casino, period. You can see all of the communication that players are having with each other, all of the cards at the table, the dealer, the chips, everything. It's the best way to play until human evolution makes telepathy possible and the game of poker obsolete.

Paris Hilton started serving her jail term last night for violating probation.

An Egyptian man tried to smuggle "snakes on a plane" heading to Saudi Arabia.

A Luxor Casino employee was blown up mafia-style when he picked up an unidentified object in the casino parking lot. Police are treating it not as a terrorist attack but as a murder with an unusual weapon. But who would want to kill a casino security guard with a bomb?

The Virginia Tech Massacre shows us that school shootings are no longer a sport reserved for affluent emotionally disturbed suburban white kids. Cho Seung-Hui, the 23-year-old shooter, was an immigrant from South Korea that came to this country at the age of 8. Surely, he could have already been damaged goods when he got here. But he may have also been damaged, or driven over the edge, by our own ultra-materialistic hip-hop youth culture which is probably contributing to driving many of our kids crazy.

He wrote a play about a stepson and stepfather fighting with hammers and chainsaws. He wrote another play about students conspiring to stalk and kill a teacher that molested them. Was the shooter abused at home? Was he molested as a young child? We'll probably never know. Sure, he probably didn't have the best parenting. In other societies, people with poor parenting don't succeed, but they also don't go on shooting sprees. Why so much here?

What does this say about our society and culture? And more importantly, how can we make changes to ensure that this sport of school shootings doesn't get corporate sponsorship? Our country is devoid of spiritual connection. People tend to value labels and luxuries instead of each other. Ultimately this may be what drives the kids to shoot. Hey, I am angry that Paris Hilton is a celebrity as much as the next guy, but it's not worth shooting people over it. Is it?

People are increasingly being jacked for their iPods in San Francisco.

A San Francisco man returned from a two-week vacation to his apartment in the Haight-Ashbury district and nearly tripped over a dead body in his apartment. The cause and time of death of the deceased is not yet known.

An astronaut caught in a crazy love triangle decided to go on a road trip, wearing diapers to minimize bathroom stops, to kidnap and possibly murder her rival. Lisa Nowak was caught by police after she tried to pepper spray her rival, Colleen Shipman, in a parking garage. Shipman managed to escape the assault and called police.

Police found Nowak at a bus stop and arrested her. They found a bag in her vehicle with a tan trench coat, a new steel mallet, a new folding knife with a 4-inch blade, 3 to 4 feet of rubber tubing, several large plastic garbage bags and about $600 in cash. Police also found a half dozen latex gloves, MapQuest directions from Houston to Orlando International Airport, e-mails detailing the affair, the diapers she wore to reduce stops along the highway and a letter indicating how much she loved her man, Bill Oefelein. Well, you can't say she wasn't prepared to kill her. Those astronauts sure know how to plan.

So, all three of them are astronauts--that's a bizarre love triangle for sure! Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Well, a woman astronaut scorned is even scarier because they tend to be very calm and methodical. I am surprised she wasn't able to execute a perfect murder. NASA must be really losing their edge. Astronauts just aren't as smart, or as sane, as they used to be.

A samurai sword wielding vigilante came to the rescue of two police officers that were attacked by an armed gang in South Shields, England. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that this was the work of Hiro Nakamura, from the television show Heroes. A more likely explanation is that small local gangs in England have taken to stabbing each other with samurai swords just to keep things interesting. However, why a gang member would aide police is still a mystery. Maybe it was a ninja.

The homicide rate drops in San Francisco for the first time since 2000. Police and city officials say the decline was due largely in part because of additional patrol efforts in the city's most dangerous neighborhoods.

At the Castro Halloween Party last night, the total tally was 7 shot, 1 stabbed, and 1 sexually assaulted. The crowd, estimated to be larger than last year's 300,000, was being dispersed at 10:40pm when shots were fired on the 2200 block of Market Street. Damn, I am glad we were home! This "party" has been ridiculously out of hand for years, even before the stabbings in 2002 that prompted the city to start hosting it. Surely the city is now wondering why it didn't just end the party then. Stay tuned.

A group of teenagers tried to hold up David Copperfield and two of his assistants at gunpoint in West Palm Beach, Florida on Sunday night. Copperfield's assistants handed the robbers money, passports and cell phones, but Copperfield refused to hand them anything at all. Instead he used slight of hand to turn his pockets inside out and reveal nothing in them even though he had his wallet, passport and cell phone.

As the teens drove away he read the license plate on the car as his assistant dialed the authorities. The teens were arrested ten minutes later and the stolen items returned. Copperfield was quoted as saying, "I'm pretty good under pressure. That's my job...call it reverse pickpocketing." How cool is that!

Surveillance video identified a young man in his 20s driving over ten ducks at a car wash in Campbell. The ducks were all descendants from a pair of ducks that were given to the car wash back in 1972 by a loyal customer. The culprit even went as far as going into the bushes to scare the ducks out into the open so that he could run them over with his car.

What a sick fuck! What kind of person would hurt innocent animals for no apparent reason? Even if the guy had a beef with the owner of the car wash, fucking with someone's pets is just insane, in that Fatal Attraction kind of way. I hope they catch this guy and put him away for a long time.

Anyone with information should call the Campbell police at (408) 866-2101.

In China, an online video game player was stabbed and killed by another over a dispute over a virtual sword. Apparently, the sword was lent to the victim and he then sold it for $870 without informing the other guy. When the other guy found out about the sale, he went to the police to report the "theft." However, there are no laws for virtual theft in China or elsewhere for that matter. The victim promised to pay the guy back, but he didn't pay it back fast enough. After running out of patience the wronged gamer stabbed and killed him. You can't make this stuff up!

Apparently, a mentally ill woman who planned to kill a pregnant woman to steal her child and pass it off as her own was killed when the pregnant woman fought back in self-defense. This is really strange. Supposedly, the woman that was killed was telling her neighbors that she was pregnant and had begun to wear "stuffed" maternity clothes. Proof that life is certainly stranger than fiction.

A smuggler boarding a plane to Lima, Peru from Bogota, Colombia was caught with $47,500 in cash wrapped in plastic bags inside his stomach. Damn, even in rolls of hundreds that's gotta be huge! Airport police said they X-rayed the suspect because he was acting nervous while preparing to board. That's crazy!

"Above the trophy case hangs an elvish sword of great antiquity."
-- Zork I: The Great Underground Empire, Infocom, 1980

Anyone that has ever played a computer role-playing adventure game knows that magic items are what the games are all about. I remember how pissed I used to get when the thief in Zork would enter the room and steal my stuff. Well, we've come a long way from the single-player, text-based Infocom games that I used to play. Now there are Massively Multi-player Online Role Playing Games (MMORPGs).

Well, South Korean police authorities are starting to pursue online crime, which is typically the theft of magical items and other virtual goods. You see, the players of these MMORPGs are sometimes punked by virtual gangs for their land and possessions, while others are conned into giving their items to strangers willfully.

Why is this a "real" crime? Well, it seems that fanboys without lives have started building up characters and magical items and selling them on Ebay--giving them real-world value. Sadly, there are individuals willing to spend hundreds, sometimes even thousands, of dollars to play an elite character or have the most powerful magical items in these virtual worlds.

Gimme a break! It's hard enough to fight crime in the real world, where there are physical consequences to say, getting your ass kicked and someone taking your wallet. Does virtual crime really need justice? Maybe, but not by real police!

Phil Spector was arrested on suspicion of murder after a woman was found shot at his suburban estate near Los Angeles. Throughout the years, the legendary record producer was involved in albums released by The Ronettes, Elvis Presley, Tina Turner, The Righteous Brothers, The Beatles, John Lennon, and the Ramones.

A businessman mistakenly displayed a picture of a nude boy in front of co-workers while attempting to open another document during a PowerPoint presentation. A full investigation by the authorities later found child pornography all over the guy's computer and desk. Adding insult to injury, this guy was an ex-pastor at a church. I am telling you--you can't make this stuff up!

The Washington Sniper is out of control and police are resorting to the "please call us" method of crime fighting. There's already talk of a Hollywood movie being made about the events of the last three weeks. So, I have to ask what the method actor will ask: What's this guy's motivation?

Damn! This lady bit the hell out of her husband because he denied her sex after coming back from the hospital. Apparently he was a little tired. I laughed my ass off initially when I read this, but then I realized he died from the bites. Crazy shit.

The sniper that's been picking people off in Washington D.C. suburbs taunted police by leaving behing a "death" tarot card with the message, "Dear Policeman, I am God." I don't know about all that, but he's definitely a candidate for meeting God. I hope they catch him.

Police have not caught the shooter responsible for five random killings in Maryland in the past few days. However, they now know that the victims were all killed with a hunting rifle. Not cool.

In a scene reminiscent of the movie, a white truck has been driving through Maryland shooting people on the street. The shootings started last night and continue through this morning. Just went you thought that Al Qaeda was all you'd have to worry about. (Also see CNN).

A student was caught in Atlantic City trying to get a pair of scissors and two box cutters into a plane. It wasn't accidental either, the scissors were inside a bar of soap and the box cutters inside a lotion bottle. Maybe he was trying to test security, maybe he's Al Qaeda, or maybe he's just a f***ing psycho. Whatever his trip was, the good news is that he is going directly to jail--do not pass "Go", do not collect $200. What do you think were the odds of him being beaten to a pulp by passengers had he gotten on the plane and acted up?

Two film producers have been paying bums a few bucks to fight each other and do stupid stunts on tape (also see CNN story). Authorities estimate that they've sold over $8MM of these videos! What does that say about our society? Although this may be a great solution to San Francisco's homeless problem, it's pretty screwed. The producers are now being sought as part of a criminal investigation since you can't pay someone to commit felony battery.

After the collapse of the Soviet Republic, the Russian mob is trying to keep itself busy by fixing ice skating events. Pretty sad. Apparently that crazy French judge that robbed the gold medal from Canada during the Winter Olympics was not under the influence of crack--just fearing some good ol' cracked ribs from some mob thugsters.

We got home late on Sunday night only to find out that our garage (which according to Mark Asher looks like a barn) had been broken into. Our mountain bikes were stolen, but apparently everything else was left behind--including our beloved snowboards. Little do the criminals know that our bikes were cursed using an ancient Voodoo ritual--anyone else riding them is doomed to fly over the handlebars and faceplant into sharp rocks and cactus plants. Really.

Happy riding mofos, and good luck, you're gonna need it!

Graduation Day #2
Melissa and I attended a second graduation ceremony for Miki held by the Asian Pacific Islander group at the UCLA campus on Sunday. Now that we are back in town I will be able to post pictures of both events soon.