The 25th anniversary of Elvis’s death has Elvii, or Elvises, everywhere. Tired of this Elvis crap–who cares. Not only is he dead, all he did was make a career of stealing from black artists like Little Richard.

Intel is trying to sue an ex-employee for electronic trespassing because he sent electronic mail to workers criticizing the company. This is total bullshit. It isn’t illegal to send 10,000 pieces of good ol’ fashioned snail mail to anyone–this should be no different. This is shaping up to be the biggest free speech battle in Internet history. What do you think? Enter your comments.

Well, as if worrying about suicide bombers and hijacked planes weren’t bad enough, we now have to worry about mosquito bites. On the upside though, Off! insect repellent is flying off the shelves, stimulating our poor economy.

Worldcom execs were arrested today and charged with criminal fraud for falsely booking $3.8 billion in expenses while at Worldcom. Looks like these guys need to choose their prison bitch names soon. Oh, and in case you haven’t seen this already, check out the MCI Pie song.

The market rallied up more than 5% today and it gave me hope that it will continue to go up. Now I only need the Nasdaq to shoot up 3,000 points and I’ll make all of my money back (insert laughter here). A little sarcasm heals the soul. I think I’d be better off throwing up $100 Yo’s at the craps table.

I thought that all of the miners in Pennsylvania were screwed–but the rescuers got them all out alive. Big ups.

Ok, so you are out of a job and the economy sucks. The company you worked for has shut its doors and people can’t even verify your employment. Well, you could always change your job title.

It’s about time that corporate executives that commit fraud are criminally charged instead of hiding behind the corporate shroud. Still, they are prosecuting only the biggest offenders and there are a lot of small fish that will continue to go unpunished.

That’s too bad because there are plenty of people that would love to see this cockhandler (the fat bastard next to Arnold) in prison. Not a white-collar prison, no, no, no, a Federal “pound me in the ass” prison. By the way, if you haven’t done so already, see Office Space.

Bricks flew out of the most notorious of body cavities for traders on Wall Street today as the Dow recovered from a 440-point plummet to close down 45 (see story). Experts say that rollercoaster days like these mark the bottom of the market–I hope so. Although I am in no rush. The money I have left over from the dot-bomb is in a money market account and it’ll stay there until I see proof of a new bull market.

This was the first 4th of July since 9/11. We took a nap in the afternoon and decided not to go see the fireworks downtown to avoid the big crowds and any possible extra explosions that may accompany the show, if you knwo what I mean. We stayed home, had fondue, and watched the fireworks on TV. Despite all of the hype on TV, we didn’t feel compelled to go out and celebrate this 4th of July in public, perhaps next year will be different. I’ll feel better once they find all of the other Al Qaeda members, or at least make it a little harder for them to enroll in flight school.