Did you know there are bills before congress to put an abridged version of the U.S. Constitution on the back of $1 bills? Bills H.R.1785 and S. 244 were initiated by students at Liberty Middle School in Ashland, Virginia in an effort to make our nation’s top legal document a fixture on American currency.

This is the first I’ve heard of the initiative. I saw a full-page ad for the project in a magazine and was thrilled by the idea. How could this NOT be cool? It’s a shame that many Americans don’t know their rights as citizens and the prospect of having those rights visible to anyone wanting to get a soda from a vending machine is priceless. I just wonder why no one thought of this idea sooner? Perhaps we could also print other important documents on the backs of other currency as well?

Instead of posting on Monster, they have their own standardized test. Brilliant!

Google’s Desktop Search Beta. Once it indexes your hard drive, you can search for anything on your computer using Google’s UI. It even indexes your messages in Outlook so that you can find that message your boss sent three weeks ago. Having tooled around with it for an hour or so, I must say that it’s one of the best, most useful pieces of software I’ve installed on my computer behind Star Wars Galaxies and Firefox.

Maria Alquilar was commissioned by the city of Livermore, California to paint a mural for the local library. After finishing the mural and collecting her $40,000 for the job, library staff noticed that 11 of the 175 words in her piece were misspelled including the names of Einstein, Shakespeare, and van Gogh. Alquilar agreed to fix the spelling mistakes for $6,000. Now you know why education is so important.

A man that shared an $87 million California lottery jackpot in 2000 was shot and killed by police in Seattle. Police state Rick Camat brandished a weapon and aimed it at police during a brawl before the Rams-Seahawks game Sunday. Camat’s relatives insist he was only firing warning shots to disperse the melee. However, prudence would suggest that pulling out a firearm after drinking at a bar is not the most effective way to manage a crowd. Also, why would you need to be strapped for a Seahawks game? I’d understand if he were watching the Raiders play, but the Seahawks? Unwise.

Christopher Reeve, best known for his role as Superman, has died at the age of 52.

It seems Rod and Randa Milliron have a little rocket envy. They had hopes of winning the Ansari X Prize, but the Scaled Composites team put SpaceShipOne into suborbit first. Now the Millirons are shooting for the $50 million dollar prize announced earlier this week by hotel mogul Robert Bigelow. Without any major funding, the Millirons have built and tested equipment that could possibly launch satellites and eventually people into outer space.

This brings out the nerd in me. I mean, it seems like people are building spaceships in their basements out of old Gateway PCs and Atari 2600s. The possibility of private space flight seems well within our reach. Next thing you know, some college student’s going to invent warp drive after a night of binge drinking which means you and I will be having Vulcans over for dinner and Parcheesi games. I can’t wait!

Think Secret, a Mac news site, is reporting that Apple will be unveiling a photo-capable iPod within the next 30 to 60 days. The new 60GB device would sport a hi-res color screen capable of displaying photos and video. There are also rumors that the new iPod would have a built-in digital camera. Adding photo and video capability to the already ubiquitous music player will have it flying off the shelves this holiday season which would only emphasize Apple’s dominance in this market.

Howard Stern will be taking his show to satellite radio after his contract with Viacom expires in 2006. This is a boon for Sirius Satellite Radio who will air Stern’s show, but satellite radio should benefit from the move altogether.

It will be interesting to see how this will affect broadcast radio. I haven’t listened to radio in years because the programming is horrible. I’ve been interested in satellite radio because the thought of actually listening to music rather than commercials turns me on. Having Stern uncensored will possibly be the thing that will get people to subscribe to the service.

Hotel entrepreneur Robert Bigelow wants to put 5 people into orbit. He’s putting $50 million dollars into the pot for the first non-government group that can do it before 2010.

This is exciting stuff. Rich guys funding people to do cool shizzle. That’s very Renaissance. I hope more wealthy visionaries get into this because the world is in great need of some innovation.

Hilary Duff and Lindsay Lohan are feuding! Say it isn’t so! It’s going to be difficult to choose sides, but I guess I’ll have to go with the one who is old enough to date me.

WINNER: Lindsay Lohan

Hurry, Hilary, and turn 18 at which time I will flip a coin to choose the victor. Actually, I think that would be victrix. I knew all that Latin would come in handy some day.

Rodney Dangerfield dies due to complications from heart surgery. He was 82.

My favorite Rodney movie is Back to School. Who can forget the Triple Lindy? Or Rodney telling Kurt Vonnegut that he knew nothing about Kurt Vonnegut? And he had Oingo Boingo play a keg party! How cool is that?

Since Fabe Ruth isn’t going to be hitting homers on the DN, I feel a responsibility to keep this place hopping until he returns. The task seems daunting, but I will persevere because it’s the least I can do for someone that has brought us so much joy.


Perhaps I could talk about the Ansari X Prize, which SpaceShipOne won yesterday with its second successful flight into space. Did anyone notice the Virgin logo on the ship? I think we should all chip in for Nugget’s ride into space.

The girlfriend and I did a little shopping at JC Penney’s. Walked around the ladies’ department and wondered the following…

Why do the mannequins have nipples? They are headless and legless, but, for some reason, it looks like it’s a little to cold in the store.

To celebrate her 19th season, Oprah gave everyone in her audience a new car. Each member of the audience got a 2005 Pontiac G6 which starts at $21,300. I have no doubt that Oprah got an insane discount from Pontiac, but still, this totally proves that Oprah has got some serious chedda lying around.

This weekend, I had to answer a support call for the Broward County Supervisor of Elections Call Center hosted at my University. For some reason (actually 2), the call center couldn’t connect to the SOE network in downtown Ft. Lauderdale. After pulling a Nugget and rescuing the call center, I had a chance to chat with one of SOE’s technicians. He asked me if I used Google’s new email service, Gmail. I told him that I didn’t have an account. He said, “Want one?” What? Hell, yes! So he sent me an invite and I was on my way.

Well, this morning, Google informed me that I had six invitations to give to my peeps. So I hooked up the girlfriend. Then I handed some accounts out to my boys, including one to Nugget. Let me just say that Gmail is hot. There are some quirks since it is still in beta, but I love the way it handles email. Messages are grouped by ‘conversations’ rather than date. It has a killer autocomplete feature. It’s also mad simple. What else could you want from a FREE email program?

Some guy in Georgia shot and killed a 1,000 lb. feral pig. Do you know how much lechon asado that is?

Lance won his 6th straight TdF. That is not a surprise.

Ricky Williams retired from the NFL and totally screwed the Miami Dolphins. Says he wants to travel and explore. Whatever. Once he runs out of cash for weed, he’ll throw those spikes back on. All I can really say is, “HA HA HA!!!” I hate the Dolphins.

The Cardinals beat the Giants adding another win to a magnificent season. If the Cards win the World Series, I’m going to cry tears of happiness.

Argentina choked and handed the Copa America championship to Brazil. Albeit, Brazil is the best soccer team on the planet, but letting them draw even in injury time then frittering away penalty kicks is a sure sign of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.

Shaquille O’Neal took out an ad in the LA Times giving props to all his fans on the West Side. Once again Shaq’s overwhelming charisma inundates innocent people. I still believe trading him was a mistake. Vlade != Shaq. Sorry, Fabe.

Lance Armstrong

Remember when this guy was nearly 10 minutes back after Stage 9 of the Tour de France. Well, Lance Armstrong won Stage 17 of the TdF, his third straight stage victory and fourth of the Tour. He is now over 4 minutes clear of his closest competitor. Needless to say, he will win his 6th straight Tour de France barring catastrophe or divine intervention. What does it say about your athletic prowess when God has to step in to give other competitors a chance?

This year’s incoming freshmen at Duke University will be receiving 20gb iPods to use as study tools. Apple will be shipping 1,650 iPods to Durham which will be handed out to incoming students free of charge. Of course, it costs around $40K a year to attend Duke, so a $300 mp3 player shouldn’t break the bank. In case you were wondering, 1,650 iPods is close to $500,000 in gear. I hope Apple cuts Duke a little price break for the bulk order.

Shaquille O’Neal took out a full page ad in Tuesday’s Miami Herald. The text:

“When I talk about my ‘new team’ in Miami I am including you, the fans. The love you have shown since it was announced that I was coming to Miami has been amazing, and it will not go unrewarded. Keep up that kind of support, and we might be printing invitations to a parade in June. D. Wade, Eddie, Dolie, Malik, Jerome, Udonis, Wang and Dorrell: The business begins. Together, we can bring the trophy to South Beach. Meet me at the gym … “

— Shaquille O’Neal

I haven’t seen this type of fan support for the Heat ever! Now Diesel is spreading some love. Needless to say, I will be purchasing a new Shaq jersey this weekend. I always looked good in black.

This will get me kicked off this blog, but the Lakers are sucking the big one. Note well, I have been a Lakers fan all my life, but the quickness with which this once mighty team has fallen from grace is astonishing. I blame it on Shaq’s greed, Kobe’s arrogance, and Buss’s denial. With no true leader and the possibility of seeing Kobe in a Clipper’s uniform and Shaq in Miami, it doesn’t leave Nugget and me with much to watch this winter. Is it too late to be a Timberwolves fan? I’d love to see KG win a ring and I’ve always fancied myself in blue…

J. Lo’s mom hit a $2.4 million jackpot playing the slots in Atlantic City. Yes, people! Real life is so interesting that I don’t have to make shit up!

Nugget gets two guest bloggers, but nobody posts a word over the weekend! I have a good excuse. I was helping my girlfriend move into a new townhome. I spent the weekend painting, lifting, and drinking lots of fluids. There was a piano involved. Legs sore. I think Fabe would agree that moving sucks mucho.

How many of you wish you rode a bike to work? Prices for fuel are going insane. Gasoline in South Florida is creeping in the $1.90s. I hear my peeps on the West Side are forking over $2.10+ for petrol. In my case, I don’t help the situation because I drive an SUV. Honestly, I’d trade in my Xterra for a unicycle but people here drive like retards. Ask Nugget. Drivers in SoFla are sniffing the cocaina before pulling out they driveways!

LOS ANGELES – At least 82 women were secretly videotaped naked or partly undressed while applying for jobs at a Los Angeles-area Hooters restaurant and changing into the chain’s distinctive uniform.

Now I love boobies, but I find legal and ethical means of enjoying them: strip clubs, the beach during spring break, Cinemax. I certainly don’t have the cojones to video tape ladies while they’re changing… at least not without their permission. Did this guy seriously think he was going to get away with this? How stupid can you be?

This is the last week of the Winter term at NSU, my first as a graduate student. I haven’t enrolled for the Spring term because this school is a joke. For one of my classes, the first question of the first assignment was:

One of the components of a computer is its CPU. What is a CPU and what role does it play in a computer?

My other classes aren’t better. One professor has me answering questions at the end of the chapter. Another has me embedding images in web pages. This is grad work, peeps! I hear one of my classes spends 12 weeks covering the OSI model. That’s mierda de toro.

I think I will be taking a break from classes so I can spend some time studying for CISSP. Time much better spent, no? My advice for anyone thinking about grad school, pick a program that will challenge you. Life is too short to be wasting 12 to 24 months on crap education.

Don't give me lip!
Virgin Airlines wanted to put these urinals in JFK, but got swatted by every female action group in the universe.

This is so strange, I have nothing more to say.

BANGKOK (Reuters) – Thailand’s Boonreung Buachan, holder of the Guinness Book of World Records title for spending the most time penned up with snakes, was killed by a cobra that bit him during his daily show, a hospital doctor said on Monday.

Ummm, what would possess you to become a snake handler? When I took the ASVAB, it said I should be a secretary. I don’t remember anyone getting pointed in the direction of professional snake handler. I wonder what color this dude’s parachute was??

Donde esta Jorge?
How many of you have accounts on Where’s George? For those of you who don’t know about Where’s George?, it’s “The Great American Dollar Bill Locator”. Anyone can create an account and enter the serial numbers of various bill denominations into a database. Many mark the bills they enter with the web address for Where’s George? so that the next person can enter the bill once it has been returned to circulation. Where’s George? keeps track of the bills and shows you where your money is going.

I entered my first bill way back in 2000. I got a $1 bill from the coffee shop down the way from the iMind learning hub. I think I ordered a mango smoothie. Regardless, I haven’t entered a bill since…

Until this week… One of my colleagues is a huge Where’s George? user with almost $2500 worth of bills recorded on the site. Once I saw how big he was into this, I had to take it to the next level. I’ve entered a bill each day this week. I even ordered a rubber stamp to print the address on the bills. So, again, I ask, How many of you have accounts?

An Afghan soldier was arrested for having sex with a donkey. He was released without being charged. I guess the embarassment and ridicule was enough. What boggles me is the fact he chose a donkey? Aren’t there brothels in Afghanistan? If not, I hear there are nuns in Poland that like hitting the bottle. May not be as exciting as donkey love, but it’s a better story for parties.

A 13 year old boy in Hong Kong brandished a kitchen knife when his dad pulled the plug on his video games. Fortunately, his dad overpowered him and took the knife away. Hopefully that was followed by an ass whoopin’, Shaolin-style!

There were many times when I tried to stay up late playing Milan’s Secret Castle only to be told by my father to stop, but I wouldn’t whip out a knife. Why, you ask? Because my dad owns guns! You think he’s scared of a Miracle Blade?

Memorial Gymnasium, Nashville, TN

My alma mater, Vanderbilt University, was awarded the 6th seed in the Phoenix region of the Men’s NCAA Tournament. Exciting times! The women’s team is a perennial fixture in the Women’s NCAA Tourney, but the boys are finally making a name for themselves. I’m very pleased both teams are in the Big Dance!!

The question that remains is how well will these guys do? I have them beating Kansas in the finals! Woo hoo!! The odds of that happening are about as good as a nun being arrested for a DUI in Poland…

Which means they have a chance! Go ‘Dores!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry for not posting yesterday, but it was Shabbat. My holy day of rest. Speaking of holy shit, a Benedictine nun was arrested in Poland for driving a tractor near her convent while under the influence.

I don’t make this stuff up, people.

It seems Sister Olga was dipping into the Communion wine a little too much. Next time she should stick with the Holy Water.

Consequences? Jail time and possible eternal damnation. I wonder how many Our Father’s and Hail Mary’s does it take to absolve you of a DUI. I guess we’ll find out shortly.

Jimmy's HPI Savage 21

My girlfriend and I decided to play a little hookie today. Both of us called in sick because, frankly, work is not fun. Definitely not as fun as eating at IHOP. After downing some stuffed french toast, we drove to Pompano Beach to check out Southeast R/C. Nice little hobby shop. Well organized. A little too out of the way for general use.

Then we picked up my gf’s daughter from daycare and spent our afternoon at Brian Piccolo Park. I whipped out my Savage with the killer front bumper ornament and shredded the cricket fields. Yes, there are cricket fields at Brian Piccolo.

Regarding my new hobby, R/C is crazy fun, but wicked expensive. There are so many upgrades for these trucks, I really can’t keep up. But it’s still cool and I highly recommend everyone get an R/C car. It’s just nice to drive recklessly without any fear of the po-po. Word.

Coming October 2004

Besides a fondness for fried plantains, Nugget and I also share a love for video games. Nugget must concede, however, the fact that I am much more involved when it comes to video games. Currently I own a PS2, Xbox, Gamecube, Gameboy Color, N64, and NES. I would own more systems, but I’m having trouble with funding. It seems that people are buying less crack and more pot these days.*

Anyway, I have just been informed that the next installment of the hugely successful Grand Theft Auto series will be released on October 19, 2004. Outstanding! Since the previous two editions of GTA sold over 10 million copies each, I have no doubt that GTA: San Andreas will sell approximately a gajillion copies before it can be bought in stores.

Now, the question remains, who is GTA:SA gonna piss off? My money is on the Mexicans. They have yet to be properly stereotyped in GTA. Their time is due. I just hope they take it with a grain of salt. The Haitians couldn’t take a joke and raised all kinds of poo. I mean, really. It’s not like the volatile Haitian-Cuban relationship portrayed in the game was made up. These peeps didn’t get along in the 80’s. Damn! Like the Haitians get along with each other now. So those peeps need to lighten up. No one is gonna buy a game where Cubans are running around beating up Norwegians. Well, maybe the Swedes, but that’s another story…

*Note: Tasteless joke. Do not take seriously.

Nugget may be busy, but people need the Nugget. We just can’t allow it to lay fallow. It must bear fruit. Like a persimmon tree. Just no Miracle-Gro or top soil. That’s where I come in. My name is Jimmy. I will be guest blogging until Nugget returns.

I don’t know what I can bring to the site, but I promise it won’t make sense. It may even offend some people, but the important thing is to have my 15 minutes on the Daily Nugget before Nugget asks William Hung to guest blog. I mean, damn! That guy is everywhere!