Pixar Studios created Buy n’ Large, a fake website for one of their upcoming movies. In the film, the Buy n’ Large corporation is credited as the cause of human civilization’s descent into couch dwelling sloths. Click on the privacy policy at the bottom of the front page for real laughs.

CrackBerry Baby
Creepy baby image from All Media. Via BoingBoing.

A Microsoft executive named Michael Wallent is leaving Microsoft to return as Megan Wallent a few weeks later. The transgender executive is blogging about his transition “From Michael to Megan” on his her blog.

Here’s a video on how to open a standard padlock with a pair of scissors and a soda can. Take that MacGyver! I am very glad this kid didn’t go to my high school. I wonder why some gyms and high schools still use these locks. Apparently, unless you have a shrouded shackle or hidden shackle padlock, your stuff is toast.

MC Hammer is the newest Web 2.0 entrepreneur, or is he!? He is the co-founder of a dance video community site called dancejam.com that will is supposed to be launching today, although it hasn’t actually launched as of this writing. I just went there and saw a video in the front page that said that the website is coming soon and a sign-up for a pre-launch invitation. The site is clearly suffering from a little performance anxiety.

An Oakland teen was shot an killed tonight at the Metreon after getting into an argument with other teens. Apparently the altercation happened between the front entrance on Mission Street and the ticket counters where he was shot at around 7:00pm. The Metreon and Yerba Buena Gardens is teeming with extra police because of the Oracle OpenWorld conference so the alleged shooter was caught a block away. The scary thing is that Mama and I contemplated going to the movies today and would have been at the Metreon around that time if we had decided to go. We didn’t.

San Francisco Bay Oil Spill

Unless you are living under a rock, you know about the container that crashed into the Bay Bridge spilling 58,000 gallons of heavy bunker fuel into the San Francisco Bay. The fuel is as thick as motor oil and is so toxic that it makes your eyes water when you are near it. Nasty stuff. Schwarzenegger has now declared the spill an emergency, which will make more state resources available for cleanup efforts.

Cleanup efforts for this mess are going to take a lot more than the state’s resources. We need to all do our part to help. People interested in volunteering should not call this number, they should check for volunteering opportunities at www.owcn.org. People who spot birds covered with oil should call (877) 823-6926.

Jerry Yang, the CEO of Yahoo, was chastised by congress for Yahoo’s role in helping China identify and jail a journalist in 2004. “While technologically and financially you are giants, morally you are pygmies,” said Tom Lantos of Yahoo. Lantos also instructed Yang and Yahoo’s chief counsel, Michael Callahan, to turn and face the dissidents’ families, seated in the front row, and plead for forgiveness. Nothing like a public beatdown to change how a company does business! Let’s see if they learn a lesson.

The National Enquirer is now reporting that many who were once close with Dog can confirm that he is one racist and ignorant prick. The people speaking out against him include his ex-wife, an ex-colleague, and his step-daughter. Here are a couple of excerpts from the story:

“I think Dog is a racist — no question…He ran down every single minority group when I was with him, and n—er was a daily word for him…He called Mexican people ‘beaners’ or ‘wetbacks’ and Asian people ‘flangeheads.’…I would tell him not to talk that way in front of our kids, but he just ignored me.” Lyssa [his ex-wife] recalled an incident in Denver in which she says Dog lashed out at an interracial couple in a grocery store. “Dog said to the woman, ‘I know that’s got to be your pimp! I know you wouldn’t be f—–g him if you weren’t getting paid!’ They were husband and wife, but when the man started to object, Dog just went crazy, screaming at him, ‘I’ll kick your ass.'” Dog’s step-daughter Nicole Gillespie, daughter of Dog’s ex-wife Tawnee, says she regularly heard hateful language from Dog when she was growing up. “My mother was half-Mexican, and if they fought, Dog would call her a ‘dirty spic whore’ and a ‘dirty Mexican slut’…That’s what he taught his kids was the right way to talk. When they got older, they had to un-learn the racism that Dog taught them. It’s sick. It’s like a disease, and it spreads.”

Wow, this motherfucker is out of control with the hate language! This depicts someone completely different from his fabricated TV persona. Buh-bye Dog!

Yes, ironic, I know. Oracle OpenWorld is here and that means tons of people taking over my backyard, Yerba Buena Gardens, tons of crowds on the sidewalks, and snarling traffic jams for blocks as people try to maneuver around the closure on Howard Street. Howard Street will again be closed for 9 days between 3rd and 4th Streets from November 8th through 17th to accommodate the conference. Why does the city put up with this? The Oracle conference, with over 45,000 attendees, pumps $80 million into the local economy. I guess I can let people use my backyard for a few weeks.

Google announced that it was entering the mobile phone market by offering a software stack to work on new cellular phone devices that will be out in 2008. The new software will allow users to get Internet ads without being tethered to their computer. Analysts are already saying that the software is a threat to Microsoft, RIM, Palm and Symbian, even though the software and its features are unknown. Whatever.

I don’t think people are going to want a cell phone that pummels them with ads, no matter how nice the interface or browser on the phone. The reason why Google is doing so well thus far is that ads in search (adwords) and pages (adsense) are relatively unobtrusive. Based on the amount of screen real estate most people have, ads are a pretty small portion of the screen. However, as the screen shrinks to cell phone size, that is no longer be the case. Nobody is going to want an ad supported phone.

However, that isn’t going to stop analysts from blindly talking up Google and its prospects. Sheep.

Ari & Staella Eliminated

In this episode, teams made their way from Los Angeles to a small island off the coast of Ireland which was definitely the perfect Irish countryside. At the end of the day, it was a couple of stubborn donkeys that determined the outcome of this leg. Ari & Staella and Nathan & Jennifer got two donkeys that refused to move, but I am sure it had something to do with the teams personalities and how they treated the donkeys too. The moral of the story: treat donkeys right and they’ll treat you right.

Ari & Staella completely alienated their donkey and ended up paying the price. Who knows if they ever led their donkey across the finish line. Maybe the producers let them off the hook when they realized all of the other teams had finished. We’ll never know. As much as I don’t like Kynt & Vyxsin, they were scrappy enough to get a second place finish in this leg. Ultimately, it was Azaria & Hendekea which came in first place.

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Court papers revealed that Britney Spears does not save or invest any of her $737,000 a month income. Damn, that is a mind-boggling amount of money! I wonder how much of that is spent on drugs for her and her entourage of hangers-on friends?

Bonds says in an interview that if the Baseball Hall of Fame decides to display his marked 756th home run ball he will not show up to his own Hall of Fame enshrinement ceremony. I guess they should consider that fair warning. That ball was purchased by fashion designer Mark Ecko. He held an online vote on whether he should send the ball to Cooperstown as is, send it with an asterisk (to acknowledge the public suspicion that Bonds used steroids) or send it into outer space in a rocket. The asterisk won.

Dog Chapman was caught on tape being a racist in a conversation with his son and the tape was posted on the National Enquirer. CNN is calling the tape a racist rant, but his demeanor was quite calm and the N-word was used way too freely on the audio tape to be a one-time occurrence. In the tape itself, he admittedly says he uses the word all the time! Here’s an excerpt:

“…It’s not because she’s black, it’s because we use the word ‘n——’ sometimes here. I’m not going to take a chance ever in life of losing everything I’ve worked for for 30 years because some fucking n—— heard us say ‘n——’ and turned us into the Enquirer magazine. Our career is over. … If Lisa was dating a n——, we would all say ‘fuck you,’ and you know that. … It’s not that they’re black, it’s none of that, it’s that we use the word ‘n——’…”

Oh the poetic irony, it was the Enquirer that posted the audio tape! What he’s saying is ‘it’s not that she’s black, it’s that I am a racist and will never stop using the N-word in this household.’ He clearly admits being a racist and that he’s worried about losing his Bounty Hunter empire more than anything else. I can’t believe that this guy is being held up as a role model for kids, it’s downright shameful!

Dog released his own statement in which he apologized, but insisted that his son’s girlfriend “character,” not his, is the problem, and that his comments were “taken out of context.” Right! As if there were any context in which his remarks would have been acceptable. Dog could be in the middle of a rap video and not have enough context to utter the N-word. Here’s his statement:

“My sincerest, heartfelt apologies go out to every person I have offended for my regrettable use of very inappropriate language. … It was completely taken out of context. I was disappointed in his choice of a friend, not due to her race, but her character. However, I should have never used that term. I have the utmost respect and aloha for black people — who have already suffered so much due to racial discrimination and acts of hatred. I did not mean to add yet another slap in the face to an entire race of people who have brought so many gifts to this world. I am ashamed of myself and I pledge to do whatever I can to repair this damage I have caused.”

Yeah, you’ve been caught bitch and you may lose your show–that’s what you’re sorry for! I for one will be canceling my TiVo Season Pass for the Bounty Hunter and I am done with you, loser. It turns you are a bigger scumbag than the icehead druggies you chase down and throw in jail. No amount of praying in front of the cameras will get you out of this one. Adios Dog.