Team Lesbian Eliminated

In this episode, teams made their way from Mongolia to Hanoi, Vietnam. It was interesting that the teams started with zero dollars for this leg of the race. So teams that had not been frugal up to this point in the race were immediately at a disadvantage.

Team Lesbian had very little money and thought that it would be a good idea to befriend a Vietnamese woman on the plane to show them where the Hanoi Hilton was. They actually waited for her to get her baggage from the plane before heading out in a taxi. They deserved elimination just for that dumb move!

Once in the taxi, the woman took them a half hour out of the way so that the taxi would take her to her brother’s house before taking the Lesbian team to the Hanoi Hilton. Idiots! Adding insult to injury, they didn’t have enough to pay the taxi, which the taxi driver forgave, but left them without any money for the next taxi ride the following morning.


As all of the teams made their way to the next clue in taxis, Team Lesbian had to walk a mile and a half because of their lack of cash. But they again made up the time and were in the middle of the pack again. These guys got so many chances to stay in the race it was ridiculous.

For safety reasons, teams are strictly forbidden to operate or ride on motorcycles while in Vietnam. Of course, that’s exactly what the Bitches did on their way to the Detour. One of them kept saying, “Are you sure this is right?” Well no, wrong! Even though they got to the mat in second place, they were assessed a thirty minute penalty for the motorcycle mistake. They thought they were gone for sure, but would end up in eighth place.

Luckily for them, Team Lesbian got lost on their way to the Fuel Detour and ended up in the Foul Detour accidentally. Instead of leaving immediately to find the Fuel Detour, they stayed there and completed the bird cage challenge. Surely, that took much longer than the coal bricks.

Bottom line, even with the Bitches’ thirty minute penalty, Lesbian came in last place and was eliminated from the race. Through editing they tried to make it look like it was close, but I am sure it wasn’t. Team Lesbian just lacked a sense of direction and they probably also got lost from the Detour to the Pit Stop. Adios amigos.

Here are the highlights from this week’s episode:

  • “A lot of these girls on the street walk arm in arm, you think they’re just friends or what?” asked Duke of his lesbian daughter, as if she has some built-in human sexuality monitor. She responded in disbelief, “I don’t know!” Can this guy be any more homophobic?
  • Shut the hell up! The Coal Miner got teary-eyed when he read the clue because his father served in Vietnam. As he’s explaining “He would only tell me certain stories about it, because you know, is one of the worst wars ever.” Just then, another team passed the Coal Miners and his wife screamed “Dave, it everybody is passing you I’m gonna get angry!” Well, so much for hearing a touching soliloquy about Vietnam.
  • Huh!? “They are not going to win a beauty pageant of kindness that is for sure” said Tom after his spat with the Miss America hoes at the ticket counter. What does that even mean? As if beauty and kindness are always supposed to go hand in hand.
  • This is fun, bitches! “The race is not the most glamorous thing, it’s painful. In fact, if I could compare it to something, it’s like childbirth” said Lyn of the Alabama team. Damn, you would think that even a bitter out-of-shape housewife would be happy to be traveling around the world on somebody else’s dime. People have to learn to smell the roses without stopping in this race.
  • Oh, the irony! The Asian Brother was the only team member to actually drop the bike filled with flowers in the flower challenge.
  • Flower frenzy! A flower selling frenzy ensued in front of the flower shop. Bitch Tom actually yelled at the locals that were trying to buy flowers from him. He screamed, “Wait! Four thousand! No!” Most other teams were selling the flowers for whatever they could get.
  • “Way to come back from behind. Good teamwork. You did awesome.” Said Peter to Sarah as he walked thirty feet in front of her in the rice patties. Meanwhile Sarah was walking on all three’s trying to keep her prosthetic out of the mud. I think he could have helped her, damn!.
  • Episode Stats

    Detour: Fuel or Fowl. In Fuel, teams needed to make thirty coal bricks from wet coal mud. In Fowl, teams needed to make a traditional bird cage.

    Roadblock: Selling flowers—it sucked.

    Other Physical Challenge(s): None.

    Yield: None.

    Fast Forward: None.

    Pit Stop: Vac, Vietnam.

    Balls of the Week: None.

    Dumbest Play: The Bitches getting on a motorbike even though it was strictly forbidden.

    Smartest Play: Alabama passing the Coal Miners running towards the Pit Stop.

    Funniest Moment: Team Alabama bitching about everything. I mean comparing the race to childbirth? C’mon!

    Pick to Win: Miss America, I mean look at ’em!

    Next to Be Eliminated: Coal Miners.

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