Grandmas Eliminated

In this leg of the race, teams made their way from São Paolo the rural area of Brotas, Brazil. No planes were boarded on this leg; teams simply took a bus ride from one side of the country to the other. The bus ride was followed by a couple of tasks that the teams had to do while driving old junky Volkswagen bugs.

All of the teams bunched up at the beginning of the race right before the Roadblock, but the physical Roadblock determined three staggered departure times on the buses which broke the teams up into three packs. I hate when the teams bunch up like that, but what can you do? The bunching up coupled with the lack of air travel made for a pretty boring episode.

At the beginning of the race, Dave said of Lori, “She’s my hottie-boom-body with the naughty Pilates.” Dave said this in not so much a cute way, but a downright creepy way that scared me. The Nerds are fucking creepy with their constant dork-in-love-fest that they got going on. They are starting to bug me.

The Jocks have said in no uncertain terms that they have Pink Hoes on the brain. They said it in the last episode and at this point they seem to be blinded by “the pussy,” since they were screaming out of their cab at a bunch of trannies on the streets of São Paolo. One of the Jocks even said, “I gotta make the girls feel good, so we can get in their pants later.” At one point, they got to finally flirt with them, and I am sure that they will hook up later in the race if the producers have anything to do with it.

Lake really bothers me! Is Lake wearing a nicotine patch on the back of his ear? What the hell is that patch about? It must not be an asshole patch, because he’s clearly channeling being an asshole at all times. He screamed, “Do not expect me to ask anybody, I am overdone with Spanish!” It’s Portuguese asshole, you are in Brazil! He also proceeded to try and yell at the person that was driving them to the Pit Stop. Lake, calm down! Bottom line, this bitch has got to go.

At the end the Hippies came in first place and almost copulated on the mat when they realized they won a trip for two to Tahiti. They were playing up for the cameras and looked like a couple of buffoons in the process. It was pretty sad. Bringing up the rear it was a race between the Old Farts and the Grandmas, and as predicted, the Grandmas came in last place. Buh-Bye. The sleeper team to watch, Ken and Barbie, who came in third place on this leg.

Leg Stats and Predictions

Detour: Press It or Climb It. In Press It, teams had to press sugar cane juice from 15 stalks of sugar cane into a bucket and break it down into a half liter of ethanol. In Climb It, teams had to climb an 80-foot waterfall using an ascender.

Roadblock: Fire Drill. One team member needed to climb up a spherical fire escape stairway on a 40-story building and rappel down the side of the building.

Fast Forward: None

Yield: None.

Pit Stop: Fazenda Primavera da Serra, Brotas, Brazil.

Funniest Moment: The Nerds squeezing sugar water from the sugar cane and making sexual innuendo with phrases like, “Ooh, yeah, spray me in the face!” and “Get it in there, yeah, keep pushing!”

Smartest Play: The Pink Hoes not stopping when they saw the Old Farts broken down on the side of the road. It’s a fucking race bitches!

Dumbest Play: The Boricuas missing the turnout to the Press It Detour. Their sense of direction is so bad that I am worried about them now. They dropped three spots to sixth place.

Balls of the Week: Dani overcoming her fear of heights to rappel down the side of the building on the Roadblock.

Next Team to Be Eliminated: The Old Farts.

Pick to Win: The Boricuas.


  1. Lake’s ignorance regarding the language spoken in Brazil reminds me of a funny moment at KPMG. A KPMG partner wanted to call Nugget into a meeting because the client was in Brazil and Nugget “speaks the language.” hehehe I wish I remebered which partner it was but it happened like 2 days after I started there so I didn’t know his name. Maybe it was a senior manager….nah, I think it was a partner. Good times.

    #1 by Meerenai — March 8, 2006 @ 11:32 pm

  2. You know, I vaguely remember you telling me that, and I remember giving them shit about it. It think it was either Shahed or Doron. Hahaha, I forgot about that. It’s still inexcusable to not know what language is spoken in the country that you are actually in.

    #2 by Nugget — March 9, 2006 @ 8:59 am

  3. I think it was someone in the SF office. :) Shahed and Doron were the smarter partners. After all, they were not Americans.

    #3 by Meerenai — March 9, 2006 @ 9:17 am

  4. In that case, it was either Gary, Brad, or Kevin. More than likely it was Kevin, he was the most junior of the San Francisco bunch back then. Now he’s the head honcho in charge, and admittedly, a bit smarter. I am going to see if he remembers that comment next time I see him.

    #4 by Nugget — March 9, 2006 @ 9:26 am

  5. Who do you think will be the next to go?

    #5 by Nugget — March 9, 2006 @ 10:02 am

  6. Probably the old farts.

    #6 by Meerenai — March 10, 2006 @ 9:11 am

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