A man is seeking $30,000 in punitive damages from his ex-girlfriend for, get this, supergluing his genitals to his abdomen. Huh? Here’s the whole story. The guy contends that his ex-girlfriend invited him over to her home on May 7, 2000, where he fell asleep. He woke up to find that she had used Crazy Glue to stick his genitals to his abdomen, glued his buttocks together and spelled out a profanity on his back in nail polish. I mean they don’t call it “Crazy Glue” for nothing. Adding insult to injury, she made him walk a mile to a gas station to call for help–apparently she would not let him use her phone.

She told him that it was payback for their breakup. He pressed charges and she pleaded guilty to misdemeanor assault and served six months’ probation. Now, I guess the mental anguish of the incident is causing him to seek monetary damages. Damn, this guy was seriously punked and is probably lucky to be alive. Because chances are that if you can Crazy Glue a penis you possibly have enough crazy in you to stab somebody. He should have let sleeping dogs lie, because now that this is public he’ll never live this down.

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