Alligator Boy and His Mom

A 12-year-old boy in Deltona, Florida, just north of Orlando, survived an alligator attack by punching the alligator in the nose. The official story is that the boy was swimming, minding his own business, when the alligator attacked him by biting him in the head, but other sources close to the incident tell another tale of suburban gang bravado.

The boy (pictured here with his mom) was sitting on the side of the lake when the alligator swam up. The alligator, seeing the boy, nodded his head, the universal symbol for “what set you from, beatch!” The boy, a prominent member of the Lakeside Crips, quickly recognized the alligator as “Smiley,” the leader of the Alligator Pirus, an enemy suburban Blood gang.

The alligator’s red bandana was tied to his tail as he waved it in the air inviting the boy to jump in for a beatdown. The boy left his weapon of choice, a 9mm Glock handgun, on the shore and jumped in for a “mano-a-mano” battle. He knew that a Glock in the hands of one the Alligator Pyroos would seal the fate of his entire gang, consisting of himself and six other kids from Crabtree Street.

Once in the water, the boy proceeded to wrestle Smiley, kicking him in the ribcage. Smiley was too fast for him though, he spun around a couple of times and locked his jaw around the boys head. But the young thug had heart, he punched Smiley with all his might, freeing himself. Smiley swallowed the boy’s ear in delight and swam away on his back while throwing up gang signs.

The boy got out of the water, picked up his gun, and ran to a neighbor’s house for a trip to the hospital. “You win some you lose some, ya know. That alligator bitch is gonna get his though, forreal, belie’ dat! Ma moms and I are goin’ gator huntin’ tonight!” From the looks of this picture, Smiley better run!

3 Comments »

  1. Your version is much more informative and enteraining than the CNN article. Thank you.

    #1 by Meerenai — May 21, 2004 @ 10:50 am

  2. Funniest ‘nug so far!
    Thanks for the Friday laugh…..

    #2 by Lucie — May 21, 2004 @ 11:33 am

  3. Anyone above the age of reasoning that don’t have enough smarts to keep his jucy ass outa Florida gator infested lakes and streams deserve to become lunch. An’ momma that didn’t take the time to teach her little unincouragable better sense needs a little bite or two also… NEXT TIME STAY HOME…

    #3 by Carlton — June 13, 2004 @ 9:59 am

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