Oh, I’m afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive.”
–Emperor Palpatine, Return of the Jedi, 1983

The Twolves just couldn’t stop the bumrush that Kareem Rush and the Lakers unleashed earlier tonight. It seemed like everybody was in early foul trouble, Shaq, Malone, even Kobe. But Kareem Rush rallied to give the Lakers the win, shooting 6-of-7 from the field, all from beyond the arc.

The Lakers are once again the Western Conference Champions, and this Dynasty, or Empire, or whatever you want to call it, is far from over. They now await the winner of the Indiana Pacers and Detroit Pistons series. I am rooting for the Pistons, just because I like Ben Wallace as a player. However, no matter who wins, it looks like the Lakers will be bringing home the title this year. Stay Tuned.

After getting comment spammed earlier today with over 100 comments that said “Hmmmmn, interesting” on over 100 different posts on the blog, I broke down and upgraded to Movable Type 3.0D. The new software has the ability to edit comments en masse, and even allows for comment registration. It’s amazing to me that people will spam blogs just to add links to their own site–it’s sick!

Anyway, to the other authors, if you have questions regarding the use of the new software, just drop me a line. Oh, and if you received emails from the comment spammer, just delete them.

www.billionairesforbush.com

Please, don’t just take my word for it. Check out this winning 30 second ad from the Bush in 30 Seconds ad contest, sponsored by the fine folks at MoveOn.org. Also be sure to visit Billionaires for Bush.

Alligator Boy and His Mom

A 12-year-old boy in Deltona, Florida, just north of Orlando, survived an alligator attack by punching the alligator in the nose. The official story is that the boy was swimming, minding his own business, when the alligator attacked him by biting him in the head, but other sources close to the incident tell another tale of suburban gang bravado.

The boy (pictured here with his mom) was sitting on the side of the lake when the alligator swam up. The alligator, seeing the boy, nodded his head, the universal symbol for “what set you from, beatch!” The boy, a prominent member of the Lakeside Crips, quickly recognized the alligator as “Smiley,” the leader of the Alligator Pirus, an enemy suburban Blood gang.

The alligator’s red bandana was tied to his tail as he waved it in the air inviting the boy to jump in for a beatdown. The boy left his weapon of choice, a 9mm Glock handgun, on the shore and jumped in for a “mano-a-mano” battle. He knew that a Glock in the hands of one the Alligator Pyroos would seal the fate of his entire gang, consisting of himself and six other kids from Crabtree Street.

Once in the water, the boy proceeded to wrestle Smiley, kicking him in the ribcage. Smiley was too fast for him though, he spun around a couple of times and locked his jaw around the boys head. But the young thug had heart, he punched Smiley with all his might, freeing himself. Smiley swallowed the boy’s ear in delight and swam away on his back while throwing up gang signs.

The boy got out of the water, picked up his gun, and ran to a neighbor’s house for a trip to the hospital. “You win some you lose some, ya know. That alligator bitch is gonna get his though, forreal, belie’ dat! Ma moms and I are goin’ gator huntin’ tonight!” From the looks of this picture, Smiley better run!

Bryant Monster Dunks Over Duncan

Revenge is truly a dish best served cold. The Los Angeles Lakers, exactly one year after being eliminated from the postseason by the Spurs, returned the favor in a decisive victory. Not even the Spurs’ Hack-a-Shaq tactics worked down the stretch. Shaqfu had 17 points, 19 rebounds, and five blocks, dominating the paint for the duration of the game. Kobe was on fire in the fourth quarter, even providing an “exclamation point” dunk over Tim Duncan (pictured here) in the last two minutes of play. The Lakers await the winner of the series between Minnesota and Sacramento, which Minnesota is leading 3-2.

Here’s a little perspective on the competition, the Kings have only made it to the finals once (1950-51), they were known as the Rochester Royals then, and won the NBA Championship. The Timberwolves have never even made it past the first round in the playoffs. In contrast, the Lakers have won the NBA Championship 14 times in their 27 finals appearances. If history proves correct, the Lakers will advance to the finals.

Derek Fisher's Miracle Shot

The last minute of last night’s game between the Los Angeles Lakers and the San Antonio Spurs was one for the ages. The Lakers were leading by one in the final seconds when Tim Duncan made an impossible shot, possibly the best of his career, over Shaq from the top of the key giving the Spurs a one point lead with 0.4 seconds left.

But on the last play of the game, 0.4 seconds left, Gary Payton gave Derek Fisher a perfect inbound pass. D-Fish was already turning for the fadeaway jumper over Manu Ginobili, shoots at the buzzer, nothing but net. The replay showed that the ball left Derek’s hand less than one tenth of a second before the buzzer. And just like that, D-Fish went from role player to clutch superstar. One of the most awesome finishes of all time! Purple and gold motherfuckers!

Bryant Elbows Bowen

Just when I was about to retire the Laker jersey for the season, the Lakers win two in a row at home to tie the series with the Spurs 2-2. Kobe Bryant was on fire last night, scoring 42 points on 15-of-27 from the field. Bruce Bowen, pictured here, got the brunt of it on a decisive victory. The Lakers are now on a quest to be the eighth team in NBA history to comeback from an 0-2 deficit. I hope everyone steps up for the next game in San Antonio.

Today the Labor Secretary announced that Enron employees would be awarded at least $66.5 million in settlement of claims against the board of trustees of the employee 401(k) and employee stock option programs. This announcement, although better than nothing, is a drop in the bucket to the $1 billion employees claim was lost from the retirement plans.

Here’s some simple math: $66,000,000 settlement less legal fees / $1,000,000,000 total loss = $0.066 cents on the dollar. This means that if you had $100,000 in your 401(k), you would get a measely $6,600 reimbursed for your trouble. The lawyers on the other hand will reap $20 million in fees for getting a $86 million settlement. Lawyers get paid, trustees admit to no wrongdoing, Labor Secretary gets press, and the employees, well, they still get screwed. Too bad.

San Francisco Falcon

No, this is not a new sports team for the city, but real peregrine falcons that are nesting in a downtown skyscraper in San Francisco. Scientists went on a ledge on the 33rd floor of the PG&E building to tag (or band) two 4-week-old nestlings. Apparently the falcons find the ledges on skyscrapers similar to the sheer cliffs where they normally nest.

These city falcons survive eating other birds, such as pigeons, doves, blackbirds, woodpeckers, and parrots. There are feral parrots in the city nearCoit Tower which am sure are fair game to the falcons. They will kill an average of two pigeons and three to four smaller birds per day. This would be interesting to see, since peregrines are the fastest animals on earth and can dive at 200 miles per hour when hunting prey.

Boston Rob Mariano proposed to Amber Brkich last night in the season finale of Survivor: All Stars, completely stealing the thunder from the $1 million prize. Amber went on to win, but it didn’t seem to matter much since the two would be sharing the prize anyway. Love, Survivor-style.

I couldn’t help but think that this was the Robfather’s last move in the game. Ensuring that he would be able to enjoy the $1 million whether he won or not. Perhaps he knew that there would be no way he could win against her and decided to hedge. Or maybe it’s true love and I’m being cynical. Either way, I wish them the best of luck and thank them for some entertaining television.

Now all we have to do is wait until July 6th for The Amazing Race to start!