Hobbit and Wizard in Milan

It seems that during this January’s fashion week shows in Milan, one designer decided to have a couple of models dressed like a Hobbit and a wizard with dye jobs. Someone needs to tell these guys that the trilogy is finished!

How can I follow Jimmy’s colorful contributions to the nugget?! I guess I can dig out some nuggets from my closet. While you’re waiting for insightful nuggets from the closet, you can amuse yourselves with this cool game from miniclip.com (big ups to my hubby Dave for this one):

Bush Shoot-Out: Starring President Bush and Condeleeza Rice
The objective: “Save the White House from the terrorists bent on the destruction of democracy.”

Since Jimmy’s posts have been so well received, I thought it would be a great idea to make the Nugget more of a collaborative effort. I’ve just enlisted Meerenai Shim to join Jimmy and myself in blogging duties and expect to add others in the near future. Please make Meerenai feel welcome.

How many of you wish you rode a bike to work? Prices for fuel are going insane. Gasoline in South Florida is creeping in the $1.90s. I hear my peeps on the West Side are forking over $2.10+ for petrol. In my case, I don’t help the situation because I drive an SUV. Honestly, I’d trade in my Xterra for a unicycle but people here drive like retards. Ask Nugget. Drivers in SoFla are sniffing the cocaina before pulling out they driveways!

LOS ANGELES – At least 82 women were secretly videotaped naked or partly undressed while applying for jobs at a Los Angeles-area Hooters restaurant and changing into the chain’s distinctive uniform.

Now I love boobies, but I find legal and ethical means of enjoying them: strip clubs, the beach during spring break, Cinemax. I certainly don’t have the cojones to video tape ladies while they’re changing… at least not without their permission. Did this guy seriously think he was going to get away with this? How stupid can you be?

This is the last week of the Winter term at NSU, my first as a graduate student. I haven’t enrolled for the Spring term because this school is a joke. For one of my classes, the first question of the first assignment was:

One of the components of a computer is its CPU. What is a CPU and what role does it play in a computer?

My other classes aren’t better. One professor has me answering questions at the end of the chapter. Another has me embedding images in web pages. This is grad work, peeps! I hear one of my classes spends 12 weeks covering the OSI model. That’s mierda de toro.

I think I will be taking a break from classes so I can spend some time studying for CISSP. Time much better spent, no? My advice for anyone thinking about grad school, pick a program that will challenge you. Life is too short to be wasting 12 to 24 months on crap education.

Don't give me lip!
Virgin Airlines wanted to put these urinals in JFK, but got swatted by every female action group in the universe.

This is so strange, I have nothing more to say.

BANGKOK (Reuters) – Thailand’s Boonreung Buachan, holder of the Guinness Book of World Records title for spending the most time penned up with snakes, was killed by a cobra that bit him during his daily show, a hospital doctor said on Monday.

Ummm, what would possess you to become a snake handler? When I took the ASVAB, it said I should be a secretary. I don’t remember anyone getting pointed in the direction of professional snake handler. I wonder what color this dude’s parachute was??

This was the topic of discussion during lunch time at work today. Sparked by the fact that I shared a cupcake with a co-worker. She took a bite, I took a bite, and then she finished it off. We have a culture of sharing any and all dessert foods at my work so we didn’t find it unusual.

That led to another co-worker claiming that it was gross and obscene and that she wouldn’t do that. She then proceeded to tell us that she would not share a toothbrush with her fiancee, soon to be husband, because it was gross. We attempted to explain that she shares, or will share, many more boldily fluids than saliva, but she wouldn’t hear it.

This lead to a discussion of what was appropriate, or not with your mate. Farting of course became the primary topic along with going to the bathroom in front of your mate. Those in relationships for more than 2-3 years found nothing wrong with going to the bathroom (#1) or farting. Others were a little skeptical. One thing is certain though, dropping boys at the pool (#2) is never acceptable in front of anyone, unless there’s a fire, maybe.

For reference, here is a very informational page that includes facts on farts. Also, here’s are the results of a fart survey taken by over 17,500 participants, enjoy.

Donde esta Jorge?
How many of you have accounts on Where’s George? For those of you who don’t know about Where’s George?, it’s “The Great American Dollar Bill Locator”. Anyone can create an account and enter the serial numbers of various bill denominations into a database. Many mark the bills they enter with the web address for Where’s George? so that the next person can enter the bill once it has been returned to circulation. Where’s George? keeps track of the bills and shows you where your money is going.

I entered my first bill way back in 2000. I got a $1 bill from the coffee shop down the way from the iMind learning hub. I think I ordered a mango smoothie. Regardless, I haven’t entered a bill since…

Until this week… One of my colleagues is a huge Where’s George? user with almost $2500 worth of bills recorded on the site. Once I saw how big he was into this, I had to take it to the next level. I’ve entered a bill each day this week. I even ordered a rubber stamp to print the address on the bills. So, again, I ask, How many of you have accounts?

An Afghan soldier was arrested for having sex with a donkey. He was released without being charged. I guess the embarassment and ridicule was enough. What boggles me is the fact he chose a donkey? Aren’t there brothels in Afghanistan? If not, I hear there are nuns in Poland that like hitting the bottle. May not be as exciting as donkey love, but it’s a better story for parties.

Our friends, Jayson Santos and Lisa Gabaldon, are finally getting married this April 24th. Please join me in wishing them a long and happy life together and check out their site.

A 13 year old boy in Hong Kong brandished a kitchen knife when his dad pulled the plug on his video games. Fortunately, his dad overpowered him and took the knife away. Hopefully that was followed by an ass whoopin’, Shaolin-style!

There were many times when I tried to stay up late playing Milan’s Secret Castle only to be told by my father to stop, but I wouldn’t whip out a knife. Why, you ask? Because my dad owns guns! You think he’s scared of a Miracle Blade?

Memorial Gymnasium, Nashville, TN

My alma mater, Vanderbilt University, was awarded the 6th seed in the Phoenix region of the Men’s NCAA Tournament. Exciting times! The women’s team is a perennial fixture in the Women’s NCAA Tourney, but the boys are finally making a name for themselves. I’m very pleased both teams are in the Big Dance!!

The question that remains is how well will these guys do? I have them beating Kansas in the finals! Woo hoo!! The odds of that happening are about as good as a nun being arrested for a DUI in Poland…

Which means they have a chance! Go ‘Dores!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry for not posting yesterday, but it was Shabbat. My holy day of rest. Speaking of holy shit, a Benedictine nun was arrested in Poland for driving a tractor near her convent while under the influence.

I don’t make this stuff up, people.

It seems Sister Olga was dipping into the Communion wine a little too much. Next time she should stick with the Holy Water.

Consequences? Jail time and possible eternal damnation. I wonder how many Our Father’s and Hail Mary’s does it take to absolve you of a DUI. I guess we’ll find out shortly.

Should this woman worry about a scar?

A woman in Utah was charged with murder when one of her babies was stillborn. Why!? She was advised to undergo a c-section and refused because she “didn’t want the scars that accompany the surgery.” Wow! You could almost hear that Carly Simon song in the background, right!? So you would think that this woman looks like she could grace the cover of Maxim, right!?

Wrong!!! This lady looks like a tortured frog–a scar on her belly is the least of her cosmetic problems. I mean, her mugshot makes Michael Jackson’s look like a beauty. Did police charge her because you can’t use vanity as a reason when you look like crap? I wonder how this will play out in court. Stay tuned.

Jimmy's HPI Savage 21

My girlfriend and I decided to play a little hookie today. Both of us called in sick because, frankly, work is not fun. Definitely not as fun as eating at IHOP. After downing some stuffed french toast, we drove to Pompano Beach to check out Southeast R/C. Nice little hobby shop. Well organized. A little too out of the way for general use.

Then we picked up my gf’s daughter from daycare and spent our afternoon at Brian Piccolo Park. I whipped out my Savage with the killer front bumper ornament and shredded the cricket fields. Yes, there are cricket fields at Brian Piccolo.

Regarding my new hobby, R/C is crazy fun, but wicked expensive. There are so many upgrades for these trucks, I really can’t keep up. But it’s still cool and I highly recommend everyone get an R/C car. It’s just nice to drive recklessly without any fear of the po-po. Word.

Coming October 2004

Besides a fondness for fried plantains, Nugget and I also share a love for video games. Nugget must concede, however, the fact that I am much more involved when it comes to video games. Currently I own a PS2, Xbox, Gamecube, Gameboy Color, N64, and NES. I would own more systems, but I’m having trouble with funding. It seems that people are buying less crack and more pot these days.*

Anyway, I have just been informed that the next installment of the hugely successful Grand Theft Auto series will be released on October 19, 2004. Outstanding! Since the previous two editions of GTA sold over 10 million copies each, I have no doubt that GTA: San Andreas will sell approximately a gajillion copies before it can be bought in stores.

Now, the question remains, who is GTA:SA gonna piss off? My money is on the Mexicans. They have yet to be properly stereotyped in GTA. Their time is due. I just hope they take it with a grain of salt. The Haitians couldn’t take a joke and raised all kinds of poo. I mean, really. It’s not like the volatile Haitian-Cuban relationship portrayed in the game was made up. These peeps didn’t get along in the 80’s. Damn! Like the Haitians get along with each other now. So those peeps need to lighten up. No one is gonna buy a game where Cubans are running around beating up Norwegians. Well, maybe the Swedes, but that’s another story…

*Note: Tasteless joke. Do not take seriously.

Nugget may be busy, but people need the Nugget. We just can’t allow it to lay fallow. It must bear fruit. Like a persimmon tree. Just no Miracle-Gro or top soil. That’s where I come in. My name is Jimmy. I will be guest blogging until Nugget returns.

I don’t know what I can bring to the site, but I promise it won’t make sense. It may even offend some people, but the important thing is to have my 15 minutes on the Daily Nugget before Nugget asks William Hung to guest blog. I mean, damn! That guy is everywhere!

Due to overwhelming school and professional assignments I am taking a break from the Daily Nugget and will return to the blog when I again have free time.

Cell phones have started to make pay phones obsolete. In fact, here in San Francisco, you’d be hard pressed to find one in a crunch. In order to raise money for charity, BellSouth is refurbishing old pay phones for home use and selling them for $135. It’s hard to believe that my kids probably will never see a pay phone. Or a black and white television for that matter, but that’s another story.

John Kerry has won the democratic nomination with his Super Tuesday performance. Now the nation gears up for the battle between Kerry and President Bush. Political analyst say it will be bloody, stay tuned. Although I know that Senator John Edwards had stated that he was not running for vice president, I think a Kerry-Edwards ticket would be pretty good, we’ll see who joins in for vice president soon.

It looks like this presidential race will be fought by two members of the mysterious Order of the Skull and Bones (see also Conspiracy Archive articles). Many books and websites have been published regarding this secret order and claims that it is an offshoot of an old Bavarian secret society called the Illuminati. Either way, there are claims that some of the members of the order are actively involved in a plot to control world events. I personally think the order is just a frat house for the wealthy and elite, nothing more.

A man in New Jersey asked for a job application at a Catholic elementary school and when they denied his request he took a dump in a diaper and left it at the school! You just can’t make this stuff up!

While we’re on the subject, check out this website for “adults who enjoy wearing diapers, plastic pants, rubber pants and other big baby clothing,” it’s scary.