The Chronicle is running a five-day series on the homeless problem, again. This time focusing on the “homeless island” at the intersections of South Van Ness, Mission, and 12th Streets, one block south of Van Ness and Market.

The City of San Francisco spends $200 million a year trying to combat the seemingly endless homeless problem which has plagued the city for decades. You wouldn’t know it by looking. The best estimates are that there are over 5,000 full-time homeless people in the city, but a one-day count in 2002 found a total of 8,600. Most are drug addicts, alcohol abusers, and/or mentally ill.

In fact, I recall that in 2002 we sent an envoy to New York to find out how they dealt with their homeless problem. Apparently, they never came back. Maybe the mob in New York had something to do with it and didn’t appreciate all the questions. Or perhaps San Franciscans are simply too soft to deal with the problem.

One popular view has it that the homeless problem is caused by a lack of jobs. I don’t agree. I think that it is our fears that make us so ineffective in dealing with the homeless, our fears that we might wind up homeless too if we lose our jobs. So we keep the services going. Well, in a half-assed sort of way anyway.

Maybe we should implement real services that are designed to get people off the streets for good. Like mandatory prison-style rehab, where you don’t get out until you’re clean. Or perhaps a couple of mental wards to deal with the mentally ill. Only when harsh fool-proof (or crackhead-proof) services are put in place will the problem go away. According to the article, homeless will admittedly keep fucking up if you let them, so the logical answer is to not let them.

An unruly mob of shoppers trampled a woman and knocked her unconscious as they battled to get a hold of DVD players at a Wal-Mart Megastore in Florida. Patricia VanLester, 41, who was one of the first in line, was knocked to the ground by the frenzy of shoppers behind her.

Paramedics called to the store found her unconscious on top of, get this, a DVD player! You can’t make this shit up, people. After the shopping beatdown, she was still gripping onto the DVD player for dear life and wouldn’t let go–get your own motherfuckers! She just jumped on the ball after the fumble and hoped for the best. That’s serious dedication.

And what will Wal-Mart do for all her trouble? They are going to put one of the DVD players “on hold” for her. WTF!? They can’t give her the damn $29 DVD player!? They should have let her take it on the ambulance as a consolation prize. If she was willing to almost die for it, the least they can do is give it to her–cheap bastards! This whole thing reminds me of one thing, I hate holiday shopping.

1 Star

Unless you’ve been under a rock, you’ve heard the controversy over a sex tape that was filmed by billionaire heiress, Paris Hilton, and Richard Solomon, best known for being Shannen Dohery’s ex-husband and a gambling website owner. If you want to see the tape, you can go on Kazaa and download the full 30-minute tape, or just pick-up the highlight reel here.

Anyway, after viewing the tape I don’t know what the big deal is about. As far as porn goes, it sucks. The tape was filmed using a handheld camera’s night vision (infrared) mode so it looks like a pair of raccoons frolicking in some trash cans in the middle of the night. The media says that the video is going to hurt Paris’s career, but I ask, “what career?” This girl is just famous for being famous. The only career this hurts is any future porn career, because she sucks, and she doesn’t even do that very well.

If you don’t believe me, check out these other reviews of the video:

Paris Hilton Sex Tape Review (Play-by-Play) by Jim Cavalier
Paris Hilton Sex Tape Review by Rossman

Now that we’ve all seen the video maybe we can go on with our lives and worry about important things like the fact that Ah-Nult is Guvernah and there are mofos in Iraq being blown to bits almost daily. Jeez!

Happy Thanksgiving to all the readers of the Nug!! Also, big ups to our little sister, Maria Labos, for passing the California Bar and becoming a lawyer–kickass!! Damn, I can’t believe it’s winter already–time to hit the slopes!! Talk to you all soon.

Matt Gonzalez

No, not me! Matt Gonzalez is beating Gavin Newsom by 7 points in the San Francisco mayoral race according to the latest poll.

Gavin is a nice guy, he’s good friends with the Gettys, he’s married to a lawyer that looks more like a model (she’s half Puerto Rican by the way), and is wealthy beyond belief. Matt Gonzalez is also a nice guy, a Stanford Law graduate, he’s President of the Board of Supervisors. But most importantly, he’s a self-made man with a kickass name! Even though they are both bright guys, I am endorsing Matt Gonzalez for Mayor of San Francisco.

I am already tired of the Michael Jakson case, just like I grew tired of the civil lawsuit that was brought against him back in 1993. It’s pretty obvious that the people bringing these allegations against Jackson are basing them on fact, or some resemblance of fact.

At the very least, Jackson is a grown man that likes to sleep with kids. At its worst, he’s a pedophile that deserves to burn in hell–slowly. Maybe Macaulay Culkin will come clean after years of therapy and talk about macking with Michael. But until then we only have allegations, rumors, and innuendo. Perhaps this case will put the rumors to rest once and for all.

My friend Meerenai suggested this vote and I agreed to publish it because it is funny as hell and because I wanted to move the picture of Michael off my blog’s front page. Two birds with one stone. The question: Would you send your kids to a slumber party at Michael Jackson’s house?

Michael Jackson or Cesar Romero?

Michael Jackson flew back from Las Vegas earlier today to surrender himself to authorities in Santa Barbara County. Jackson surrendered himself, was booked on charges of child molestation (see booking photo), and later released on a $3 million bond. The Jackson family spoke out against the allegations. Jermaine Jackson, in a phone call to CNN, declared his brother’s innocence and denounced the legal action as “nothing but a modern-day lynching.” I am not so sure. I think Michael Jackson has a problem and he’s touched one boy too many–he’s going down. Man, that booking photo is funnier than shit! Straight up Cesar Romero Joker on Batman style! Click the photo–you be the judge.

An arrest warrant was issued for Michael Jackson today in Santa Barbara County on child molestation charges. This comes one day after authorities searched Jackson’s Neverland Ranch as part of their investigation. Over 70 officials from the Santa Barbara County Sheriff’s Department and district attorney’s office searched the residence, but there is no word on what was sought or found. Stay tuned.

Farscape Crew

Farscape, the award-winning science fiction series which was cancelled last year (its final show aired in March), will return to the SciFi Channel as a four hour mini-series according to the folks at Save Farscape.

Sources report that filming is scheduled to begin in December and that the series is expected to air sometime next year. Through sheer determination, lots of letter, strength of spirit, and ideals of community and family, the fans of Farscape have created something fabulous and achieved something that should have been impossible–bringing a show back from the dead. I am certainly proud to be a Farscape fan and to have supported Save Farscape’s efforts over the last year. Big ups to Farscape fans everywhere.

“You want to know how I did it? This is how I did it, Anton. I never saved anything for the swim back!”
–Vincent Freeman (Ethan Hawke), Gattaca, 1997

I just watched Gattaca, one of my favorite films on the Sci-Fi channel. It is the amazing story of someone who was told by society that he wouldn’t amount to anything, but through hard work and perseverance, he fulfilled his dreams of going to the stars. We could all learn a little from Vincent Freeman. I guess you have to see the film to understand the quote. I am totally using it as inspiration for getting me through school right now. Rock on!

I am way too busy with school and work right now to post anything–sorry. Hopefully I’ll be all caught up this weekend. Wish me luck.

A man described as a “popular karaoke performer” was seriously injured when his wife attempted to cut his penis off with a razor blade as he slept. The fight stemmed from the man’s popularity as a performer, apparently he was friendly with the ladies. He is expected to make a full recovery from his injuries, but authorities stated that had his wife used scissors, he would have not fared so well. She is still at large.

Even more disturbing, the article states that in August a man was allegedly killed by his wife in retribution for beating her. She squeezed his testicles until he fainted and then tied his neck to a bed with a scarf. That’s a movie of the week!

In stark contrast to cutting penises and squeezing testicles, check out the new penis enlargement patch. Yeah, like the ones smokers wear to quit smoking, but for guys with small artillery. And of course, with testimonials from models, it’s gotta work! Jeez, what the hell is the world coming to!?

The Los Angeles Lakers beat the San Antonio Spurs in double overtime to remain undefeated with a 5-0 start. Sadly, the Spurs were playing without Tim Duncan and Tony Parker but still managed to make it a very close game thanks to the heroics of Manu Ginobli. I am sure that Phil Jackson will give the boys a tongue-lashing for making such a big production of what everyone expected to be a blowout win for the Lakers. Nonetheless, it was a very long and thrilling game.

Gavin Newsom and Matt Gonzalez will be battling it out in a runoff election on December 9th to see who will become the next mayor of San Francisco. Gavin Newsom garnered 41 percent of the vote today, while Matt Gonzalez raked in 20 percent of the vote, edging out Angela Alioto who tallied 16 percent. We’ll have to wait one more month to see who will succeed Slick Willie.

Starting on November 24th, cell phone customers will be able to keep their old phone number when switching carriers. This new development, will increase the turnover rate from 2-3 percent to 20 percent, at least temporarily. Hopefully, this new change will force carriers to streamline their service offerings, increase their quality of service, and lower their prices to stay competitive. Stay tuned.