A story today reports that the Vail Daily newspaper cites sources that say Katelyn Kristine Faber (also seen as Kaitlyn Kristine Faber) went to Kobe Bryant’s room and started fooling around with him consensually. After a few minutes of this, Kobe reportedly would not allow her to leave and forced her into sex. Additionally, law enforcement sources cited that Faber suffered physical trauma in the vaginal area from the incident. This “physical trauma” evidence would have to be some pretty big bruises for it to even be relevant. Hell, even conservative sex can cause both participants to bruise, if done passionately. However, if these are big bruises, I don’t think the “she wanted it rough” defense will fly.

This is absolutely, positively not a joke! Apparently, the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) was in the process of developing a program called the Futures Markets Applied to Prediction (FutureMAP). The program would have involved setting up a website where investors would bet small amounts of money that a particular event–a terrorist attack or assassination–would happen. It would have been like a terrorism deadpool–like Fuckedcompany.com, but for suicide bombings and the like. Who was the genius to come up with this idea!? Luckily, a couple of Senators, including our own Barbara Boxer, managed to terminate the program before its scheduled start on Friday. Here’s the C|Net story.

Star Wars Kid

Many of you may have seen the original Star Wars Kid Video that was floating around the Internet a few months ago. I was really embarassed for this kid when I saw the original video, but now he’s become a cult celebrity! People are making “clone” videos from the original, like Re-Mix, SWK 2.0, and Dork Clone Wars, just to name a few. Check out all of the videos and read more about the kid at Jedimaster.net.

Update (7/31/2003): The parents of the Star Wars Kid, whose real name is Ghyslian Raza (also seen as Ghyslain Raza), have sued the classmates that uploaded the video to the the Internet back in April. Ghyslian was teased about the video so much that he had to go into a children’s psychiatric hospital!

A couple of web sites have raised over $4,300 for Ghyslian and there is even a petition on the Internet to get him a role in Star Wars: Episode III–I hope George Lucas gets him in the movie. As of this writing, there are over 37,400 signatures on the petition, including mine. Good luck!

The Palos Verdes Art Center is raffling a $1,170,000 luxury home in Rancho Palos Verdes later today. They sold 16,000 of the $150 raffle tickets, so you have a 1 in 16,000 chance of winning the house. Additionally, there are 160 prizes, the smallest of which is $300. So, there is a 1 in 100 chance of doubling your money. The grand prize winner may also choose $800,000 in cash instead of the house. This is a great fundraising idea! Had I known about this earlier, I would have bought a couple of tickets.

Some people think that being a biker doesn’t alienate you enough from society, so they held a nude biker rally this weekend in Tennessee. That’s right! Motorcycle seats, bare asses, and balls to the wind. I guess they are seeking to give a whole new definition to the term “road rash.” This could only happen in Tennessee! I am going to have to tease my friend Jimmy–who’s originally from there.

I am driving to Palo Alto earlier today on Interstate 280. Everybody that has ever driven on the 280 knows that 280 traffic flows much more quickly than on highway 101. The speed limit reads 70 most of the way between San Francisco and Palo Alto, but everybody drives around 80. The highway is not straight, and curves through green hills and reservoirs in the Peninsula heading towards Silicon Valley.

I come across a car in front of me doing about 65. This is rather odd because everybody, and I do mean everybody, is doing about 80 down the freeway. In addition to going annoyingly slow, the driver of this small SUV appears to be driving by Braille. This is the act of using the bumps that separate the lanes inform you that you need to correct your steering. You know, like a blind person. What the hell!?

Could this person be drunk!? At 9:30 AM this would be quite a feat, so I decide to reason further. Could this person be blind!? Realizing quickly that the DMV does not, and should not, issue licenses to blind people, I quickly move on. Could this person be retarded!? Realizing that the IQ of the average driver is lower than the speed limit signs on the highway I examine further. Suddenly, I notice the license reads “TWO PHDS”–so this person couldn’t possibly be retarded, right!? Surely, someone who has two doctorates has heard of the laws of physics, of inertia, of the bone crushing transfers of energy that happen when vehicles collide, right!?

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Brynna Tierra Penales and Dominicus Penales

Mama and I visited our friends, Don and Monika, to see their newborn baby boy, Dominicus, and their two-and-a-half-year-old daughter, Brynna. It was nice to have a nice home-cooked meal in their backyard in perfect Marin weather. It was awesome to spend time with our friends and to be away from the seemingly endless San Francisco summer fog.

Finally, in this leg of the race, Millie and Chuck cracked under pressure and were eliminated from the race. They appeared to be tired from lack of sleep. Not because they were having sex (they are virgins supposedly), but probably because they were up all night arguing with each other. This team was doomed from the start in my opinion–they lacked chemistry, and now they are done.

Kelly and Jon got really lucky in this leg. First, they started in last place, next they couldn’t find a route marker, and then they went for the fast forward only to find out that Reichen and Chip (who finished first) had gotten there first. Kelly and Jon should have lost, but Millie and Chuck’s inability to read a fucking map was their undoing. Kelly and Jon caught up to them at the Roadblock and beat them to the finish line.

Kelly and Jon will be the next to go, since they are the last co-ed team and it seems that the Detour challenges are getting more and more physical. Now there are only four teams left and we are officially in the home stretch of the race. Can’t wait for next week!

Well, about a thousand people across the United States have been served federal copyright infringement cases by the RIAA and many of them have been in California. This probably comes as no surprise, since California has been the hotbed of technology in the United States for years.

Many file swappers around the country, and locally, are now running scared and hiring lawyers to combat the RIAA in federal court. This story also talks about another user, an 67-year-old man was served papers because of the downloads of his 23-year-old daughter. Damn, even parents and grandfathers are being served!

Well, if you are (or were) a Kazaa user and your ISP has little or no backbone, you’ll probably get a letter. Luckily, many universities are resisting the RIAA and not releasing the names of students involved in music swapping. Unfortunately, Verizon has already folded to RIAA pressure in court and now so has Comcast cable. And if Earthlink and SBC (formerly Pacific Bell) lose to the RIAA people will be fucked, especially in San Francisco.

So far, the RIAA has only served about 1,000 of the 60 million active Kazaa users in the United States. It seems pretty insignificant compared to the size of the problem, unless you are one of the users dealing with a federal lawsuit. One thing is certain, this is a lottery that you do not want to win.

With publicity in the Kobe Bryant sexual assault case reaching mammoth proportions, I have to wonder if Vanessa Bryant will want to stand by her man throughout the whole incident. Pictures of Katelyn Kristine Faber (also seen as Kaitlyn Kristine Faber) are abound, the press is in a frenzy, the fans are anxious, it’s crazy! So it begs the question, do you think Vanessa Bryant will leave Kobe at anytime between now and the end of the impending trial, or possibly after the trial? Let me know what you think.

Some guys feel guilty and buy some roses or chocolates for their wives. Kobe Bryant reportedly bought his wife a $4 million purple diamond ring to try and make up for the sexual indiscretion that has gotten him in big trouble. I seriously doubt that Vanessa Bryant is going to stick it out with Kobe. Especially, since this whole incident is turning into an OJ-style media circus.

I just read this investigative article on how San Francisco hotels overcharge guests for telephone calls. Some hotels have local calls that cost $7 for the first minute, and as much as $1.25 a minute after that. And International calls are even more expensive. For example, a six minute call to Japan from the Westin St. Francis will cost you $77.71. It’s almost cheaper to fly back to talk! That same call using AT&T’s own 10-10-345 service would cost only 96 cents, but, of course, you can’t make 10-10 calls from the hotel rooms.

Having traveled extensively throughout the U.S. for work in the past I can tell you that this problem is not isolated to San Francisco. Hotels all over the country will literally “stick you up” and have you pay for their entire operation with you room’s phone bill. The best way to combat this, get a National calling plan on your cell phone–that always works!

I guess not everybody knows about the In-n-Out secret menu. So for all of those that did not grow up in Southern California, here it is:

“3-by-3” = three meat patties and three slices of cheese.
“4-by-4” = four meat patties and four slices of cheese.
“2-by-4” = two meat patties and four slices of cheese.

Note: You can get a burger with as many meat paties or cheese slices as you want. Just tell the cashier how many meat paties and how much cheese you want and that is what you’ll get! For instance, if you want 2 pieces of meat and 6 pieces of cheese tell them you want a “2-by-6.”

“Animal Style” = the meat is grilled with mustard, then pickles, extra spread, and grilled onions are added.
“Whole Grilled Onions” = onions are grilled whole and not chopped like animal style.
“Double Meat” = like a Double Double without cheese.
“3-by-Meat” = three meat patties and no cheese.
“Animal Style Fries” = fries with cheese, spread, grilled onions.
“Protein Style” = this is a burger with no bun, wrapped in lettuce.
“Grilled Cheese” = no meat, but everything else.
“Extra Toast” = buns are extra toasted giving them a crunchy texture.
“Veggie Burger” = aka “Wish Burger,” burger without patty or cheese.
“On the Sal” = this is just lettuce and dressing. Nothing else.
“Animal Fries” = fries with melted cheese, grilled onions, and dressing.
“Fries Well-Done” = extra crispy fries, even better than the regular!
“Fries Light” = opposite of fries well-done, more raw than usual.
“Flying Dutchman” = two meat patties, two slices of melted cheese–nothing else–not even a bun!
“Neopolitan Shake” = strawberry, vanilla and chocolate shake.
“Choco-Vanilla Swirl Shake” = chocolate and vanilla swirled together to perfection.
“Lemon-Up” = half lemonade and half 7-up drink.
“Root Beer Special” = half root beer and half Dr. Pepper
“Tea-Ade” = half iced tea and half lemonade.

Other Trivia and Lingo:

“100-by-100” = legend has it that this was ordered by a group of four celebrating a birthday. However, according to an employee, the largest order ever filled was “50-by-50.”
“500-by-500” = a bogus order made by a fraternity–it wasn’t filled.
“Volcano Top” = years ago they would hollow out the bread bun and fill it with extra ketchup. However, according to an employee, they are not allowed to touch the bun after the burger is made now so this doesn’t exist anymore.
“Home Run” = this is when a car passes by the microphone without ordering and cruises right up to the service window.
“Homeless Style” = cheese, grilled onions, and spread left over on wrapper after one has consumed burger. Usually found in trash cans or trays left on picnic tables.

Celia Cruz Memorial, Hollywood Walk of Fame

The picture here was taken by my uncle, Wally Correa, at Celia Cruz’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame this weekend. Celia Cruz was mourned by tens of thousands today at her funeral in St. Patrick’s church in Manhattan, New York. This of course pales in comparison to the 100,000 that attended her wake in Miami this weekend. Celia Cruz, the crowned “Queen of Salsa” died last Wednesday in her home in Fort Lee, New Jersey and she will be missed by millions of salsa fans, and music fans, throughout the world. We will miss you, Celia!

According to the Kobewatch.org web site, Kobe’s accuser is a 19-year-old girl by the name of Katelyn Kristine Faber (also seen as Kaitlyn Kristine Faber) from Eagle, Colorado.

The girl pictured seems innocent enough, but we all know that looks can be deceiving. Just yesterday, a story was reported by the Orange County Register in which a friend stated that this girl overdosed on drugs a few months ago. Apparently the overdose occured after a fight with her boyfriend, which may or may not be the goober in the pictures with her.

Bottom line, she looks innocent, but so did Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction, and she cooked Michael Douglass’ rabbit! Anyway, whether or not the assault story is really true, this girl’s life is going to be turned completely upside down. Big ups to Lisa Gabaldon for sending me the link.

Update (7/24/2003): According to MSNBC, the girl(s) pictured on the linked site may not be Kobe’s accuser. I guess we’ll find out what she looks like soon enough, since I heard The Globe tabloid just published her picture.

It seems that Australian scientists have found out that the more men masturbate between the ages of 20 and 50, the less likely they are to develop prostate cancer. I bet those guys from Puppetry of the Penis are cancer free. I may not be a master puppeteer, but I at least deserve some amateur ranking. At least I’m pretty much cancer-free!

Kobe’s accuser allegedly took a drug overdose a few months ago after a dispute with an ex-boyfriend, according to a story published in the Orange County Register today. This may be a boost to Kobe’s defense, since it proves that the accuser is emotionally unstable and a little crazy.

I got tired of my old Nokia 3360 digital phone and got a Siemens C56 GSM phone with a National plan on Friday. Although the coverage is not as good as the digital network, I couldn’t resist the new GSM technology and the polyphonic ringtones.

In this episode, teams made an extra effort to get to know each other at the pit stop and announced their relationships to the rest of the teams. Reichen and Chip “came out” to the group and Millie and Chuck announced that had been dating 12 years and were still virgins. It was funny as hell, you could tell that Chuck was not happy about the no sex deal as Kelly and Jon announced they were engaged, having sex, and made fun of the virgins’ situation.

The teams left the pit stop and made their way from India to Malaysia. Reichen and Chip chose to try and beat the teams to Malaysia by going to a travel agent in the town of Madras–an hour away by car. Ultimately, it didn’t matter since they met up with Millie and Chuck in Kuala Lampur.

Once they landed in Kota Kinabalu, the teams made their way to the local cultural village and found a clue for their next Detour. In this Detour, teams decided to either pull up a heavy lobster trap, which required a lot of strength, or catch 15 fish in a net, which required a great deal of skill.

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Kobe was officially charged with sexually assaulting a 19-year-old woman in a case that will most certainly tarnish his perfect career. If convicted of the felony assault charge, Bryant faces probation to life imprisonment. Kobe has admitted to adultery, but denied the assault charges in a press release and in a press conference that was held this evening.

I personally believe, as I have from the beginning, that the girl in the case was a willing participant in the encounter. I don’t know of many women that would pass up the chance at knockin’ boots with Kobe. I don’t believe that there was any force or coersion involved. This girl is trying to gain fame and is looking for the possibility of a Vegas-style civil jackpot at Kobe’s expense.

This is bad news for the Lakers, since they will now have to deal with the possibility of having Kobe not be in the starting lineup for all or part of the regular season–let’s see what happens.

Someone suggested that an annual driving test should be enough for old people, but the fact is enough deterioration could happen in a matter of months to make an old person a very dangerous driver. It’s just too risky. Investigators found out today that the old man responsible for yesterday’s massacre was involved in recent accidents.

Maybe a hybrid solution is in order. Maybe after age 70 there is an annual driving test until you reach the age of 75, after which you are just fucking done with driving. Here’s another article about this.

There was a tragic incident today in Santa Monica that rekindles the argument that there should be an age limit for drivers. An 86-year-old man mowed down over 54 people at a street market, killing 9 and injuring 14 others critically for over two blocks. He told police he couldn’t stop and that he may have hit the accelerator instead of the brake.

Uh huh. For two whole blocks!? That shit don’t make no motherfuckin’ sense!
There should be a law that states that after the age of seventy-five you should be all done with driving. Period! Thank you for playing.

When I walked out of the Aladdin yesterday I realized that I had not gone outside for two and a half days. Also, sadly, the temperature was still at 114, but it felt like 125–crazy!

Anyway, I couldn’t contain myself and spent another $50 before heading to the airport, bringing the total tally to negative $100. Again, still not bad for almost three days in Sin City. Plus, I got to meet a bunch of staff from other cities–all-in-all not bad for a firm event. Big ups to Benson Tran who left Vegas up $300.

The dark side giveth, the dark side taketh away. The craps tables were red hot tonight. This is great if you are playing with the shooter, but not so great if you are betting against. Needless to say, I gave back all of my winnings, plus about $50 tonight. A big win in roulette also helped me recover some losses.

Now, for the whole trip I am in the hole. Although, being down only $50 for two days is pretty good! And what do I have to show for it, I got hours of high-quality gambling entertaininment, meals, drinks, and even a show (see yesterday’s entry) for $50–that’s a bargain.

For those that don’t know, I am in Vegas until Tuesday for a work-related training session. I arrived at the airport at 1:00PM and it was 114 degrees–let me spell it out, one hundred and fourteen!!! Who the hell can stand this heat? Some of my co-workers actually went out to play a round of golf in this weather. Insane! Can you say extra crispy!? I thought I saw a falling star, but it was a bird that had burst into flames! Jeez!

So, I walked outside and jumped into a sedan to the Aladdin. Ah, air conditioning, it’s wonderful. In the desert it isn’t just “air conditioning,” it’s “life support.” The ride was excellent. I got to the hotel and had to wait in a long ass line–at least fifty mofos deep. That wasn’t good, but it’s Sunday and the person in line told me that it is like that everywhere. Well, okay. Checked into the room, changed into shorts and hit the craps tables with Benson Tran.

Let me make a long story short: Benson and I are up, way up. We have turned $40 into at least $120 about three times now. We gambled all day, ate twice, bought countless drinks, even watched a show at the hotel and I am still over $100 up. He’s probably up more than I am, since he started doubling his bets up.

The whole time, even as I showed him how to play craps for the first time, we played “the dark side”–the don’t pass line. The moral of the story, as Emperor Palpatine would put it, never underestimate the power of the dark side. I am going to sleep now with a smile on my face :)

In this leg of the race, the teams made their way through India on a grueling 24-hour train ride to the city of Ernakulam. The train ride was arduous and all teams except for Millie Mole and Wolf Man upgraded to the first class air-conditioned cabins–they wanted to save money–dumb asses.

The Roadblock that followed was disgusting! One team member had to agree to be dragged through a pool mud and bullshit (and bull piss I am sure) by a couple of bulls running at top speed for 100 yards. It did not look pleasant. Tian did it and the event almost ripped her breasts off her chest–titties flying everywhere!

Next, there was a Detour that involved delivering yarn on elephants or delivering chickens on a bicycle. All the teams except Reichen and Chip chose elephants, and they all paid for it with serious butt pain. Reichen and Chip came into the Detour in last place, but choosing the bicycle delivery allowed them to pass Tian and Jaree to the pitstop–so, the girls were eliminated.

This leg of the race was very close, which is what you want to see. Nobody wants to see the last place team rolling into the pit stop way behind the pack. Tian and Jaree should be proud of their finish. I still predict the virgins, Millie Mole and Wolf Man to be gone next. Stay tuned.

Larry O’Brien sent me this video stream link, a Japanese variety show clip that shows a Matrix-style ping pong game. It’s pretty entertaining, or as Larry put it: this is the funniest thing ever filmed. Check it out.

I recently changed my hosting provider from OLM to Jumpline. One of the things that I totally got used to with OLM was SquirrelMail webmail, arguably the best webmail application on the face of the planet.

Unfortunately, one of the requirements for SquirrelMail is the IMAP protocol, and Jumpline does not provide IMAP access to their mail servers. They support POP3 protocol mail access only.

I had to quickly regroup and search for the next best webmail application. It had to be compatible with my Virtual Dedicated Server (VDS) system and not have an IMAP requirement. I tried almost all of them: Neomail, Popper, NuralStorm, Instant Web Mail, and IlohaMail.

I finally settled on Open WebMail for use with my domains. Based on Neomail, Open WebMail has been improved substantially in the last two years by an International group of programmers into a very solid application. It isn’t Squirrelmail, but if you are without IMAP it’s the next best thing.

Gary “The Glove” Payton in a Laker’s jersey! The Lakers offered Payton a one-year contract earlier today. And, if Karl Malone also signs with the Lakers, the journey to the dark side will be complete. That’s right, four all-stars on one team. It’s just unheard of–read ’em and weep.

Prosecutors met with sheriff’s officials today to discuss the possibility of pressing charges against Kobe Bryant, the Lakers camp has scheduled a conference call for 5:00PM ET, and speculation on exactly what happened in Colorado is running wild. What do you think? Is Kobe guilty of these allegations?

Who still uses floppies anyway!?

I had completely blocked this from my memory. The SPA actually created this video (Windows Media, 16.5MB) to deter kids from copying computer games. I think this encouraged more kids to become crackers for 0-day warez groups than anything. It is so excruciatingly bad that I am almost too embarassed to post it. Even more scary is the fact that the SPA still sells the video for $15. Big ups to Defective Yeti for link.

Kobe Bryant turned himself into police and posted a $25,000 bond on a felony count of sexual assault in Colorado today. Allegedly, Kobe sexually assaulted a young woman in a hotel room near Vail, Colorado a week ago. Damn, that’s one hell of an allegation!

Kobe is the last person I would expect to see in this type of scandal. Maybe I am naive and the public persona is all a carefully crafted illusion. Has he pulled the wool over on all of us? What the hell was he doing with a woman who wasn’t his wife in a hotel room!? Well, maybe I have an idea, but surely not Kobe! He’s a new father, happily married, a decent guy, right!? I am so confused.

I don’t know if this whole thing is true, and it’s probably too early to tell. However, when I start hearing words like “physical evidence” it seems this may not be a simple case of “she said, he said.” Bottom line, for the sake of Kobe, the Lakers, and the sport of basketball, I sure hope this brouhaha is all a really big misunderstanding.

The Los Angeles Times reported yesterday that the Karl Malone, would take a huge salary cut to come play for the Lakers. In fact, he would take the minimum to allow for salary cap room to allow the Lakers to also sign Gary Payton.

I am salivating just thinking about a starting five with four all-stars. Shaq at center, Karl Malone at power forward, Kobe at small forward, Gary Payton at shooting guard, and, well, anybody at the point. Hell, even I could play the point with those guys around me. Stay tuned.

I hope that everyone has a safe and happy 4th of July holiday. If you can’t get to a fireworks show, check out this link that my classmate Jon Cornelison sent me–pretty cool fireworks java applet.

Teams experienced serious culture shock on this leg of the race traveling from Amsterdam, Holland to Mumbai, India. In Mumbai, the conditions of the streets and the rampant poverty brought some of the team members to tears.

The going got really tough on this leg of the race, and as expected, Monica and Sheree were eliminated. Because, when the going gets tough, the rich stop tryin’. Untimately, third world conditions were too much to handle for The Supremes.

The funniest scenes of the race came as teams tried to get on the grossly overcrowded trains of Mumbai. The amount of people was crazy! All of the women were totally manhandled in the sea of humanity, except for Millie–must be the big-ass mole on her face. And Chuck almost didn’t make it on the train after Millie was already inside. Man, what a lamer!

The race is coming to the wire. Reichen and Chip are going strong, as are David and Jeff. Tian and Jaree seem to have put aside their differences and are again working as a team. The crowd favorites, clowns Jon and Al, are dangerously close to elimination in last place. And the NFL wives are finally gone. I now predict that the next team to fold are the virgins, Millie and Chuck. Stay tuned.

Not since Tiger Woods has there been such an amazing junior golfer. Michelle Wie is a 13-year-old girl from Honolulu, Hawaii. She is 6-feet tall and can drive a golf ball 280 to 320 yards (not a typo). She has already qualified for several LPGA events and even got to the final group at the Nabisco Championship, an LPGA major, in March of this year. She is the youngest USGA tournament champion and has her eyes set on The Masters (again, not a typo). She says that her dream is to play on the PGA Tour, not the LPGA. Geez, what are they feeding these kids!?

The National Park Service is selling chunks of concrete from Alcatraz as part of a $7.7 million renovation project. They say it is more cost effective to sell the concrete than to have the debris shipped off the island to a landfill. The moral of this story–tourists will buy anything!