Cartman and Ms. Jennifer Lopez

I accidentally deleted the latest South Park episode off TiVo, titled Lil’ Crime Stoppers. Initially, I was very very sad that I deleted the new episode, but then, lo and behold–Fat Butt and Pancake Head, last week’s episode was still in memory. I pressed play without knowing of the wonders we would see.

Here’s the summary of the episode. Cartman’s hand puppet of Jennifer Lopez becomes famous when he makes a music video at the mall called Taco Flavored Kisses. A music label sees the video and wants to pick up Cartman’s creation and decides to fire the “real” Jennifer Lopez–because they can’t have two artists named Jennifer Lopez! The “real” J’lo is so pissed that she goes with Ben Affleck to Cartman’s school to kick some ass. She manages to slap Cartman (and his hand) around a little, but while there Ben falls in love with the other Jennifer Lopez, Cartman’s hand!

Like every great South Park episode, this one was shockingly insulting, irreverent, and enthralling. It had a vicious mix of satire and commentary that bordered on character assassination and even racism, but it was funny as all hell. We were on the floor laughing our asses off.

Now we can’t stop singing parts of the Taco Flavored Kisses song–“taco taco, burrito burrito, taco taco.” Here’s the transcript of the other song, Run For The Border, that Cartman’s “new” Jennifer Lopez sang in the studio while recording an album:

Baby let’s make a run for the border
I’ve got a hunger only tacos can stop
I know exactly what i’ll order
Three tacos, two tostadas and a soda pop

I need to make a run for the border
If you pay i’ll take off my top
Do you remember what i want to order?
Three tacos, two tostadas and a soda pop
Yeah, and don’t forget the hot sauce, chulo

If I find MP3s of these songs I’ll post them here–fucking hilarious. Big ups to Matt Stone and Trey Parker for making this episode. I laughed, I cried, and I now admit, I also peed a little–thanks guys.

Update (4/30/2003): Added links to MP3s of the songs for your listening pleasure.

Update (5/7/2003): Removed MP3s of the songs because of the crazy amount of downloads–I can’t afford the bandwidth. You can still get the songs in .wav format at


  1. I thought this episode was excellent! Thanks for posting the music. Kickass!

    #1 by Pedro — May 2, 2003 @ 2:16 am

  2. I think the taco flavored kisses episode was the best I’ve ever seen, and wanted to have it on video, but unfortunately missed recording it. There wouldn’t be a chance you can record it on tape or cd?


    #2 by fatih — May 4, 2003 @ 9:13 am

  3. Sorry, I no longer have it to record.

    #3 by Nugget — May 7, 2003 @ 2:53 am

  4. This epidsode is genuinely histerical. I hope no actual person does this kind of thing…draw faces on their hand, dress it up with mini-clothes and take it completely seriously. That is one hell of a multiple personality condition…on your hand! They would be a ‘mucho estupido vato loco’!

    Nos vemos en la internet!

    #4 by Peter — June 5, 2003 @ 6:51 am


    #5 by Ashley — July 8, 2003 @ 9:28 am

  6. this episode kicked major portions of @$$!!! (ass)
    i laughed so damn hard, that i shit in my pants!!!

    #6 by shane s. — July 28, 2003 @ 6:37 am

  7. One of the funniest (yet sickest) episodes I have ever seen of any series. I almost pissed myself. Unfortunately, episode was soo twisted, I can’t publicly admit I liked it.

    #7 by rem63 — August 1, 2003 @ 6:39 am

  8. Can’t admit in public? You just did!!!

    #8 by Nugget — August 25, 2003 @ 10:34 am

  9. F#$%ing Hilarious. Only South Park can get away in totally downplaying the tremendously overinflated hype those 2 celibrities have been eating up this past year. Completely awesome!!!!

    #9 by K-Dawg — August 28, 2003 @ 1:44 am

  10. probably the bestest funniest sickest episode of SP I’ve ever seen. Hail to the masters of SP!

    #10 by markass — November 16, 2003 @ 3:24 am

  11. does any one have the taco flavored kisses lyrics??

    #11 by angela — March 11, 2004 @ 12:50 pm


    #12 by wonko — March 13, 2004 @ 3:59 am

  13. BEST EPISODE EVER!!!!!!!!!

    #13 by Dave — March 20, 2004 @ 5:09 am

  14. Yeah, and don’t forget the hot sauce, chulo!

    …that episode was kick ass!! fosho!

    but it was a lil racist

    #14 by Susie — September 6, 2004 @ 11:16 am

  15. “A LIL RACIST”? DUH!

    #15 by MARC — September 21, 2004 @ 11:56 am

  16. i have only seen the episode 2x (sadly…) and one of those 2 times was last night, which inspired me to go out looking for the “taco-flavored kisses” lyrics… this is the second best episode of SP (after the ‘Passion’ episode) they totally RIPPED my man Mel… i’m a huge fan, and they still had me cracking the fu*k up.

    #16 by Ashlie — September 23, 2004 @ 1:27 am

  17. and to the racist comment… racism makes the world go ’round. deal with it.

    #17 by ashlie — September 23, 2004 @ 1:28 am

  18. it wasn’t racist, latinos eat tacos, deal with it, the episode makes me want to piss every time i watch it, i copied it onto dvd and watch it whenever i need to pee, its too damn funny, anyone who thinks otherwise needs to get a sense of humor, when cartman finds ben’s spooge on his hand, its too funny, i thought i was gonna die from laughing, and when they put a body on his hand and it was dancing, too damn funny, anyone offended by this episode needs to chill, cause they make fun of everyone, i am a christian, and not real thrilled when they rip on Jesus, but they rip on everyone, so i can’t be an ass, well sorry i wrote so much

    #18 by nick — September 30, 2004 @ 4:08 am

  19. You can suck on my culo, chica!

    #19 by kronnyj — November 17, 2004 @ 5:24 pm

  20. This was one of the best episodes of SP ever! I love this episode b’cuz it’s hilarious, gross but funny, and krazy! Haterz keep hatin’. SP iz the best comedy cartoon ever!

    #20 by sandrita — November 19, 2004 @ 6:13 pm

  21. I want to know if there is full length song of “Taco Flavored Kisses”. If so where can I download it? I have had it in my head for weeks now and need to hear it.

    #21 by Steve — December 13, 2004 @ 4:37 pm

  22. This episode was lame …
    as lame as any other dumb american anime putting garbage into mostly whiggers head. I mean, stick to simpsoms or futurama or even family guy, but south park is really some dumb ass shit done by dumbass neo-jew. Seriously man … then whiggers wonder why a azn, blakc or latino get to kilss yer asss answer: you dont respect .Not everybody came born in usa or norht american peaceful land, so when ye make fun of people after watching this, make sure you’re not fooking around with the wrong dudes.

    #22 by GringoTonto — April 19, 2005 @ 12:46 pm

  23. I am Latina, and I love South park as I love the Simpson. I’m mexican and we make jokes all the time about everything, specially about the spanish people. So I didn’t feel offended with this. Is the same with the gringos trying to speak or write in spanish, it so funny! That episode was great!

    #23 by Shakira — July 10, 2005 @ 11:58 pm

  24. The racist part was stupid and unnecessary but what do you expect from losers who understand they need to feed bones to their main audiance: mid-western hicks who enjoy a good racist joke (as long as it aint about them).

    #24 by whocares — October 17, 2005 @ 3:21 am

  25. hey i was wondering where you got the mp3 for taco flavored kisses. i know you dont have it up on your site anymore but where did you get the copy you personaly listen to?

    #25 by Eric — June 1, 2006 @ 2:58 pm

  26. Really sick episode. I can’t stop singing. :D

    #26 by clonn — November 10, 2006 @ 1:15 am


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