Saddam Hussein was shown on Iraqi TV walking through crowds in the streets of Baghdad, proving that he’s still alive. Saddam was reported to have said (translated), “Yo, I’m alive and out hea representin’ fo’ shizzle. Let’s give mad props to ma dog, the farmer that shot down a copter with a raggedy-ass old bazooka. Much love, dog.”

The White House released this statement, “We still don’t know if Saddam is alive or dead, despite today’s tape–perhaps a music video would change our minds.”

A Washington Post reporter added that weeks before the war Saddam Hussein grabbed a microphone and proceeded to diss every major-label MC in a freestyle that left those present flabbergasted. “I didn’t know Saddam could rhyme at all,” declared the reporter. “He’s got mad skills, no doubt. It will be interesting to see if he makes a music video to silence his critics. Stay tuned.”

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