I finally found sound files for last week’s funny “Jenny From the Block” South Park episode and posted them to the original entry. Listen to the songs if you have some time, they’re hilarious. |
X2: X-Men United will be opening worldwide this weekend. It will open in 93 countries and territories around the world, making it the broadest opening release of all time. It promises to be better than the first X-Men movie with more action and digital effects. I am so there. |
In another nail-biter game, the Lakers beat the Minnesota Timberwolves to tie their first-round series at 2-2. Kevin Garnett missed two free throws down the stretch in a choke that was reminiscent of recent performances by Scottie Pippen, the choke master. I am sure Garnett will be haunted by this loss on the plane ride home and every moment leading up to the next game. The mental repercussions of this loss for Minessota are huge, as now they realize that it’s a three game series. |
I accidentally deleted the latest South Park episode off TiVo, titled Lil’ Crime Stoppers. Initially, I was very very sad that I deleted the new episode, but then, lo and behold–Fat Butt and Pancake Head, last week’s episode was still in memory. I pressed play without knowing of the wonders we would see. Here’s the summary of the episode. Cartman’s hand puppet of Jennifer Lopez becomes famous when he makes a music video at the mall called Taco Flavored Kisses. A music label sees the video and wants to pick up Cartman’s creation and decides to fire the “real” Jennifer Lopez–because they can’t have two artists named Jennifer Lopez! The “real” J’lo is so pissed that she goes with Ben Affleck to Cartman’s school to kick some ass. She manages to slap Cartman (and his hand) around a little, but while there Ben falls in love with the other Jennifer Lopez, Cartman’s hand! Like every great South Park episode, this one was shockingly insulting, irreverent, and enthralling. It had a vicious mix of satire and commentary that bordered on character assassination and even racism, but it was funny as all hell. We were on the floor laughing our asses off. Now we can’t stop singing parts of the Taco Flavored Kisses song–”taco taco, burrito burrito, taco taco.” Here’s the transcript of the other song, Run For The Border, that Cartman’s “new” Jennifer Lopez sang in the studio while recording an album: Baby let’s make a run for the border I need to make a run for the border If I find MP3s of these songs I’ll post them here–fucking hilarious. Big ups to Matt Stone and Trey Parker for making this episode. I laughed, I cried, and I now admit, I also peed a little–thanks guys. Update (4/30/2003): Added links to MP3s of the songs for your listening pleasure. Update (5/7/2003): Removed MP3s of the songs because of the crazy amount of downloads–I can’t afford the bandwidth. You can still get the songs in .wav format at www.southparkstudios.com. |
Remember the stash of cash that was found in Iraq earlier this week? Apparently, U.S. soldiers tried to hide about $13 million of the $750 million in unmarked hundred dollar bills. Damn, I can’t blame these guys–I don’t know if I’d be able to contain myself either. |
I just saw a parody of Saddam Hussein based on The Real Slim Shady song. It’s funny as hell, especially if you know the lyrics to the Eminem song. Big ups to Memepool for publishing the link. Saddam’s voice seem a little overmodulated, but all in all it’s very good. Be sure to check it out when you have some time. |
A USGS study stated today that there is a 62 percent chance that San Francisco could have a major earthquake between now and 2032. The study cites that the major quake would have a magnitude of 6.7 or greater. I’d rather shake and chill here in San Francisco than shake and bake in Los Angeles. It’s too damn hot down there. |
Yeah, you guessed it, home. Unfortunately, Bay Area home prices are still going up and have reached a record high of $419k. That’s crazy! Damn, I thought that shortly after the dot-com bubble burst that the prices would drop immediately. Here we are, three years later, and the prices are still rising! |
U.S. soldiers have found $656 million in hundred dollar bills behind a false wall in Baghdad. Damn! I got excited once when I had a $21,000 cashier’s check in my hands once (from a settlement), I can only imagine what $656 million in tightly wrapped hundred dollar bills looks like. The U.S. Secret Service is going to verify the validity of the bills before they try and figure out where they came from. I don’t know where they came from, but I bet I know where they’re going–into the pockets of our troops. Hell, it may have been $700 million before they got there! Those large mountains of cash will shrink bigtime, don’t doubt it–whether the bills are real or not. |
Company earnings are down at a lot of industry bellwethers and the economy is not completely back on track yet. However, CEOs are still getting paid. In the last year, median CEO compensation and bonuses still went up. Shareholders are outraged and want to stop the CEOs from getting phat rich while investors get screwed. |
Online ads are making a big comeback, according to Newsweek. Even McDonalds has said that they are cutting back TV ads and investing more money on online advertising. This is great news for companies that depend on online ads, like Yahoo, one of my clients. |
The Lakers have to be the strongest 5th seeded team in NBA Playoffs history. The force is strong with them. I believe they will win this series against Kevin Garnett and the Timberwolves, and every subsequent series on their way to a fourth straight championship. Today, the Lakers led throughout the entire first game in an awesome display of talent, strength, and poise–I predict a quick first round. Bottom line, don’t bet against the purple and gold. |
Stephon Marbury banked a three-pointer at the buzzer in overtime to rob Tim Duncan and the Spurs of a win today in the opening game of the Suns-Spurs playoffs series. After getting the rebound off a missed free throw with just 5.1 seconds left, Marbury drove the ball to his three-point line, jumped, and shot the ball with .2 seconds left on the clock–amazing. Tim Duncan take note, you are a choker and Marbury is a baller–deal with it. The Phoenix Suns are not your average 8th seeded team. I think that they have a good shot of knocking off the 1st place Spurs. |
The Gumball Rally, a Cannonball Run styled race with European roots, had its West Coast debut this week. The race is now in its fifth year, and is synonymous with billionaires, supermodels, rock stars and eccentrics. Last night, some of the sweetest exotic cars in the world blew out of San Francisco on their way to a Miami finish line. The race started at a crazy penthouse party in the Fairmont Hotel at 8:00PM. Shortly after the start of the race, 911 calls started pouring in about racers exceeding 100MPH and weaving in and out of traffic on city streets and on I-80. Apparently part of the race is to get across America without being arrested. Here are some pictures of last year’s New York to Los Angeles race. |
It seems that after years of denial, the producers of Friends will finally admit that black people do live in Manhattan. A black actress named Aisha Tyler will become a regular character on the show this season. Great, that only took what, nine years. Could the wheels of progress move any slower!? Screw ‘em, I was done with this unrealistic show three years ago. Besides, the best NBC comedy is Scrubs. |
Martin Luther King, Jr. was an inspiration to millions around the world, but Rodney King just made people riot. Let’s face it, Rodney King is an idiot. Don’t get me wrong, he didn’t deserve to get his ass kicked by the LAPD. However, some would argue that he needs an ass-kicking now more than ever. Yesterday, he was driving in his SUV at high-speeds and the proceeded to crash into a pole, a fence, and somebody’s house! All this while intoxicated! You would think that a guy that got a nearly $4 million dollar settlement from the city would have gotten his life together–some therapy, maybe an education, a career, a volunteer job, or well, something. Instead, his hobby appears to be driving at high-speeds while drunk. Some people never learn. |
Who do you think will win the NBA Finals? I promise that even though I bleed purple and gold, I will not ban you from the site for answering anything but the Lakers. Promise. Really! |
We’ve finally purchased tickets for the movies that we will watch during the 46th Annual San Francisco Film Festival. We will be watching a record of 14 films this year, up from 9 last year. This is a lot of films to watch in a two-week period, but somebody’s got to do it. Anyway, here’s our list of films (in chronological order): Angela (Italy, 2002) It is only fitting that Comandante be the last movie on our list, like icing on the cake. Comandante is Oliver Stone’s intimate portrait about Fidel Castro. Stone shot over thirty hours of documentary footage over three days and condensed it down to 90 amazing minutes. I can’t wait–this should be very interesting. |
Well, we put off doing our taxes until the last minute this year because we’ve been busy as hell with school, work, and the lawsuit. The cool thing is that we were eligible for a lot of tax credit because of the money we’ve spent on school–that’s nice. Anyway, now that we’re all done with them we can breathe a sigh of relief and enjoy ourselves. |
An unidentified gunman fired a semi-automatic pistol into a motorcade of five cars that included celebrated rap artist Snoop Dogg early Friday morning. Snoop was unscathed in the incident, and it is unclear if he was indeed the intended target of the shots. One of Snoop’s bodyguards was grazed by a bullet and injured in the incident. I would be pissed if we lost Snoop to some crazy shit–Biggie, Pac, and Jam Master Jay are enough. |