“They drew first blood, not me…”
Sylvester Stallone as John Rambo, First Blood, 1982.

Today I went to the dentist for my semiannual teeth cleaning and checkup. It wasn’t a particularly bad cleaning, but there was this small incident. While my dentist was cleaning a particularly tough spot he missed the tooth completely and gored me in the gums with a mid-size dental pick.

Blood streamed out of my mouth and the sharp hook caused me so much pain that through reflex I closed my mouth with force–biting the dentist’s index finder. He was a little shocked, but even though it was an accident I didn’t apologize. No. Instead, I gave him this look that said, “yeah, uh huh, see what happens–respect motherf***er.” Somehow, I have a feeling that the relationship between me and my dentist has changed forever.


  1. I would have kicked his punk ass in the ding-ding…

    #1 by Jimmy — July 30, 2002 @ 6:31 am

  2. Respect mother effer. Teaches those bastards to come correct with the utensils. Next time he’ll slow his roll fo’ sheezy….

    #2 by Lil Smiley — August 1, 2002 @ 12:24 pm

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