We got home late on Sunday night only to find out that our garage (which according to Mark Asher looks like a barn) had been broken into. Our mountain bikes were stolen, but apparently everything else was left behind–including our beloved snowboards. Little do the criminals know that our bikes were cursed using an ancient Voodoo ritual–anyone else riding them is doomed to fly over the handlebars and faceplant into sharp rocks and cactus plants. Really.

Happy riding mofos, and good luck, you’re gonna need it!

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